


My Drummer Girl

by OneKast



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Band Fic, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin Angst, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Clexa20gayteen, College Students Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Endgame Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Injury, Minor Costia/Lexa (The 100), Minor Luna/Raven Reyes, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Modern Setting Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Nobody is Dead, Nurse Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, POV Clarke Griffin, POV Lexa (The 100), Past Abuse, Past Costia/Lexa (The 100), Past Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin, Past Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Step-parents, Student Lexa (The 100), Useless Lesbian Lexa (The 100)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 25,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27978591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneKast/pseuds/OneKast
Summary: Modern AU. Clarke and Lexa are in college. They sit next to each other, Lexa is pretty shy and doesn't talk much. Clarke takes notice of that. But everything changes a day Clarke decides to go out partying with Octavia, Raven, and Lincoln.
Relationships: Aden & Lexa (The 100), Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Indra & Lexa (The 100), Lexa & Titus (The 100), Luna & Raven Reyes, Luna/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Lincoln, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Comments: 84
Kudos: 286
Collections: Clarke and Lexa





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever work on my own! Hope you enjoy it.

Clarke was finishing up typing her paper on the laptop that was sitting in front of her. She had completely tuned the teacher out for the entire class. However, the only thing that was on her mind was finishing this research essay.

She looked over at the girl sitting next to her. She was paying close attention, taking notes, highlighting parts of the textbook, and even bookmarking pages. Clarke wrote the final sentence of her essay before nudging the girl on the shoulder lightly.

“Lexa,” she whispered as to make sure the teacher didn't hear when his back was turned. “Can I take a picture of your notes?” she asked.

Lexa looked up for a moment from writing in her notebook before giving Clarke a small nod. She slid her textbook across the table and Clarke took out her phone. She snapped a photo of each of the pages of the chapter before sliding the book back to Lexa. Then Lexa slid her notebook over and Clarke took pictures of every note page from today and even a few from yesterday. Clarke slid the notebook back to Lexa and smiled a little at her before putting her phone back in her pocket.

“Thank you.” Clarke whispered in a slightly louder voice than she whispered the first time.

Lexa bit her bottom lip a little as if she was nervous before speaking back “No problem.” in a voice so quiet Clarke could barely understand what she was saying. Good thing Clarke was able to read lips.

After a short moment, the two girls exchanged, the teacher turned around to face his class. “That is all from me for today. The test is in 3 days. Be ready. No homework tonight, just study. See you all next class, you are dismissed.” Then he walked to his desk while Clarke heard the shifting and shuffling of students getting their things together to leave.

She put her computer in its case and stuffed it into her backpack. She dropped her stray pencils back in her bag before turning to face Lexa again. She was going to ask if Lexa had a study partner but as she began to speak she realized the girl was already gone. _Damn._

She slung her backpack over one of her shoulders and walked out of class. She walked down the halls of the campus and out of the building. 3 pm and she was finally done with classes. She walked for a few minutes before reaching her dorm’s building. She stepped into the elevator and waited as it took her to the 5th floor.

She walked until she reached room 13 and then unlocked the dorm. She noticed a pair of shoes at the door as she kicked hers off, threw her backpack down, and went to flop on her bed.

“You’re back?” A voice called from the other end of the dorm. Clarke shifted from her flopped position on her bed into a sitting up position now. She looked to where the voice was coming from and there stood Octavia leaning on the doorframe of the bathroom, brushing her teeth.

Clarke groaned and flopped back down onto the bed. Octavia finished brushing her teeth before walking to where Clarke was laying. She sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the worn-out college student. “What? Did you not finish your paper?”

Clarke shakes her head. And Octavia gives her a confused look. “Well then why do you look like…” She laughed a bit to herself before gesturing toward Clarke. “That?” she finished asking with a smirk.

Clarke rolled her eyes and scoffed at Octavia’s comment. “Now what is that supposed to mean?” she growls.

Octavia only laughs again before standing up and stretching. “Relax Clarke, it was a joke.” She walked over to the closet and opens the door, searching for something. “Seeing as you’re done with your work...you can finally go out with Raven and me!” She shouts with a cheerful grin on her face.

Clarke sits up once again and looks toward her dormmate. “I have a test in a few days, I can’t get distracted.”

Octavia groans and slams the closet door shut. She then shoots a look toward Clarke. A glaring look, one that burns into her skin without any words needing to be spoken from her lips. “Fine, one night.” Clarke says reluctantly.

Octavia smiles again and reopens the doors of the closet. After another few minutes of searching, she pulls out a dark blue dress and throws it at the bed Clarke is sitting on. She throws another dress onto the red afterward. This one was blood red. Then she closes the closet for a final time and opens their shoe drawer. She grabs two pairs of three-inch wide heeled black zip-up boots and places them softly onto the floor.

She walks over to the bed and grabs the red dress taking it into the bathroom, shutting the door, and locking it behind her. _Guess that means the blue one is mine._ Clarke thinks to herself before standing up and grabbing the dress.

She took off the ratty clothes she decided to wear to classes for the day and threw on the dress. After fixing and pulling it for a few moments it fit snug. The dress was almost the same shade as a freshly ripe blueberry. The end of the dress cut off a little further past her knees. She tried to pull it down further but knew it would be no use. She couldn’t make the dress longer and the more she tried all it did was stretch the silk fabric.

Then Octavia walked out of the bathroom, her hair was already done so nicely and Clarke just turned to stare at her. Octavia gave her a warm smile before catching a glimpse of Clarke’s hair. “Yeah, this won't do.” She grabbed Clarke’s wrist, pulling her into their bathroom.

* * *

The three girls walked into the bar. Music was blasting, people were dancing, some were making out but Clarke averted her eyes from them. Raven, another one of their friends, ended up not wearing a dress. She showed up in ripped jeans and a short-sleeve button-up shirt. Octavia had berated her enough in the car about not dressing up enough. Clarke just listened to that conversation and it was soon forgotten when they arrived at the building.

Octavia was gone within seconds after spotting Lincoln. Lincoln was Octavia’s boyfriend. They met one day when Octavia was skipping class, Lincoln was the one to show her to the best hiding places on campus. They had only been dating for 2 months but even strangers could tell they were perfect for each other.

Clarke looked around for any other familiar faces, but there were none. Only Raven, Octavia, and Lincoln. She sighed to herself and made her way over to the bar. Raven was the designated driver for the night but Clarke promised she wouldn’t get too drunk, only a few shots here and there.

Clarke ordered a shot of tequila and rested her elbow on the countertop waiting for the bartender to finish pouring it. He slid her the shot glass and she downed it within a second. The bartender then threw her a plastic water bottle, Clarke caught it and nodded as a thank you. She started to make her way over to the middle of the bar.

Octavia liked this bar the best because it had a stage. And on the stage? There was always some small band playing music. Clarke looked over her shoulder for a moment to see Raven leaning up against the wall. She was surrounded by two guys and one girl. Clarke smiled to herself and finished making her way to the stage area.

There was currently a break between the bands that we're playing tonight, but that didn't stop people from dancing where they could. Clarke made her way into the crowd, holding her water and taking a few sips here and there. Then the music playing over the speakers stopped and someone walked out onto the stage.

Everyone’s attention including Clarke’s turned toward the stage. “Hope you are enjoying yourselves.” The man started to say, “Today we have a new band performing for us, let's give it up for Trikru!” The man finishes his announcement and gestures toward the band walking out onto the stage.

The lights were dimmed so the faces of this new band were hard to make out. Even Clarke couldn't figure out if they were male, female, or both. The band got themselves situated on the stage and the lights raised. Clarke could see much clearer now. 2 girls, 2 boys. One girl was standing in the middle, she seemed to be ready to sing. She was darker than the rest of her crew but her looks were captivating. The two guys were carrying guitars, Clarke assumed they wouldn’t be singing as there was no mic in front of them.

Then she caught a glimpse of the drummer in the back. There _was_ a mic in front of this girl. She had heavy makeup on that made her look almost like a raccoon but it didn't look..bad. In fact, to Clarke, the drummer was the best-looking one.

The guys on guitar started to play a few notes and then the drummer joined them. Clarke listened to their music, almost completely immersed in their sound. The lead singer had a voice like honey but it was still deep and a little raspy. And then the drummer’s voice chimed in and Clarke felt her heart skip a beat. It was a feeling that she had not yet experienced during her time at college. This voice coming from the drummer was beautiful, beautiful yet familiar. She couldn’t place her finger on where or when she had heard a voice like this before but she was sure she had. As the first song started to come to an end Clarke figured it out, where she heard this person before and the voice inside her own head spoke.

_Lexa?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm just now noticing all my typos omfg. The next chapters will be better and proofread over and over before its posted officially. Remember to leave kudo's and comments if you enjoy this!


	2. Why'd You Only Ever Call Me When You're High?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Clarke gets drunk and high in this chapter, if that's not your thing or that triggers you, I would advise against reading it.
> 
> I was going to post this yesterday as a little treat because ya know, it was the 6 year anniversary of Clexa's first meeting. But I didn't have the time to edit it, so it's a little late. Either way, I hope you still enjoy it. There is some angst but just a heads up this with be a slow burn AU with an eventual happy ending :)

A few days after Clarke’s outing with the group, the drummer girl was still on her mind. So much so that she forgot to study for today’s exam, she was cramming it in at the last minute as the professor walked around, handing out everyone's test. She turned her head a little to the right to look at the girl sitting next to her. Trying hard to get a good look at her without her noticing. Lexa turned her head to look at Clarke causing Clarke to look down, back at her own paper. 

The teacher arrived before the two of them, handing the test to Lexa first and then Clarke. “Notes away, Griffin” he spoke. Clarke nodded and shoved her notebook into her backpack before kicking it under the desk. She picked up her pencil ready to attempt this test.

The first few questions she knew off the top of her head. No extra thoughts were needed, she filled in the bubbles corresponding to the correct answer. She skipped over the few she didn't know reminding herself to go back to answer them later. 

Her mind kept replaying the songs that Trikru played at the bar. She didn't know anyone in the band by their face, but she swore the drummer was Lexa. However, she wasn't able to make out the face enough to be sure. The voice on the other hand, matched the girl next to her. She needed to hear it again to make sure.

The class period was nearing the end, Clarke’s classmates were turning in their tests one by one. A few were still working and those that were not were fiddling with their fingers or pencils. She had two questions left to fill in, but these two questions had stumped her. Clarke made a rash decision and turned her head to glance at Lexa’s paper, hoping she had answered what Clarke was unable to. Luckily enough, Lexa had the answers she needed already bubbled in on her own sheet. Clarke turned back to her paper and started to finish filling her own answer key out before hearing a faint clearing of the throat from the front of the classroom. 

Her eyes shot up to look at the professor and all he did was shake his head.  _ “Damn it, the one time I cheat, I get caught,”  _ she thinks to herself. Lexa stands up, organizing her test and turning it in. Clarke waits a few seconds before doing the same. To her surprise, the teacher doesn’t confront her. Instead, he doesn't even acknowledge that she turned in her test and Clarke walked back to her desk.

She sat down, putting her pencil back into her bag, waiting for the bell to ring so she could try to talk to Lexa again. The bell did ring and she grabbed her bag swiftly, following Lexa out of the classroom. “Hey! Wait up, Lexa!” Clarke called after her. She watched Lexa whip her head around and give her a confused look. Clarke ran faster to catch up with the surprisingly quick girl and waited a few moments to catch her breath before saying, “Can we walk together? I'm done with classes for the day.”

Lexa blinked a few times as if shocked someone wanted to walk with her. And then she gave Clarke a small nod. No words like Clarke was hoping, just small head movements. The two of them walked alongside each other and out of the main building. Clarke let Lexa basically lead the way. It was a silent meeting at first until Clarke couldn't take the silence any longer.

“Hey, I assume you have a phone right? Can I have your number?” She asks in a tone that almost sounds like she is shaking. Why was she so nervous to ask for her classmate's number?

Lexa gave Clarke another slow blink before pulling her phone out of her pocket. She watched as Lexa opened her mouth to speak. “You’re very interested in me all of a sudden,” she mumbles. So it  _ was _ Lexa, she was Trikru’s drummer. “But sure, here it is.” Lexa finishes. She turned her phone so Clarke could see Lexa’s number.

Clarke fumbled with her own phone, writing Lexa’s number down in her contacts. She smiled as she clicked save and gave a thumbs up to the girl. Lexa took that as a signal that she could put her phone away.

Just as Clarke was about to say something back to Lexa her thoughts were cut off by an all too familiar voice. “Yo Griffin!” the voice called to her and she grumbled to herself. She felt her body tense and she hoped Lexa wouldn’t notice. Lexa’s eyes went soft even though a few moments ago it seemed like she had some sort of wall up. That look didn't last long as the wall went back up in just a few seconds. 

The person who called for Clarke came running up and put his hand around Clarke’s shoulders. “Did you not hear me? I called for you!” the voice said, this time in an annoyed tone.

Clarke turned her head to the side to face him. “What do you want Bellamy?” she asked, clearly not interested in anything he had to say. She was hoping that her tone and glare would make that obvious to him. But of course, he was just as aloof as ever. Bellamy gave Clarke a puppy dog-like pout. She was never interested in speaking to him, but at this moment in time, she  _ definitely  _ didn't want to hear from him. Especially not in front of Lexa, or  _ anyone _ for that matter.

“Am I not allowed to want to see you?” he asked in almost a cocky sort of way. Clarke rolled her eyes and grumbled again.

“No, you aren’t not after-” She stopped herself. Remembering Lexa was still standing in front of her and not wanting to say the rest of that sentence in front of her. She may be interested in getting to know Lexa, but they were still strangers. She could tell by the look on her classmate's face that she was getting uncomfortable and didn't want to be there.

Clarke yanked Bellamy’s arm off from around her shoulder and shoved him a little to the side. He let out a yelp and Clarke smirked to herself. Then she turned her attention back toward Lexa.

“Sorry about the interruption, I’ll just text or call you at some point alright? You can go now if you want.” Clarke said in a softer tone than the one she used to speak to Bellamy with.

Lexa gave her a small smile and started to say something again “I-” but she was cut off by a loud ringing sound coming from her pocket. Lexa pulled her phone out and glanced at who was calling. “Shit..” she whispered before picking up the call and sprinting away.

Clarke stood there, frozen. She sighed to herself, “Bye to you too I guess...” She finished before walking away with Bellamy following close behind her.

*** * ***

A few nights after Lexa and Clarke’s awkward goodbye Clarke sat at her desk, Octavia was raving about Lincoln on the phone to Raven. Clarke opened her laptop and signed into her school’s grade database. Her professor had told the class that the exam grades would be up in about 3 days. She clicked on her class and her heart dropped.

She slammed her computer shut and kicked her chair back, standing up in a fit of rage. She slammed her fists on her desk this time and heard Octavia whisper, “Holdup Raves, I gotta go.” Clarke then collapsed to the ground, already exhausted from her outburst, and started to cry.

Octavia walked over to her slowly and crouched beside her. She placed a hand on one of Clarke’s shoulders. “Hey..” she spoke in her soothing tone. Although Clarke didn't say what was wrong, Octavia could tell.

Clarke was studying to be a nurse. That was her anatomy final, she needed to ace it, if not ace she needed at least a B. Instead, Clarke failed it, she got a 0 on the final, leaving her with a 68% overall in the class. “It’s okay Clarke.” Octavia insisted, “Why don’t we get out of here for a little?”

Clarke shook her head, trying to steady her breathing before she responded to Octavia. “I think I should go somewhere by myself tonight.”

Octavia’s eyes shoot her a look of worry. But she doesn't push Clarke. She knows Clarke is a very strong individual, if she thinks she can handle herself on her own, chances are she can. Octavia nods and takes her hand off of Clarke’s shoulders, standing up from her crouched position. She reaches a hand out to Clarke to help her up.

Clarke wiped some excess tears off her cheeks before grabbing Octavia’s hand, pulling herself up. She fixes her shirt which was showing a bit of her stomach after Clarke had fallen to the ground so quickly. She cleared her throat and turned around to push the chair back neatly in front of the desk.

She then made her way over to the door, putting her sneakers on and taking her University’s cap off the door it was hanging on. She put it on, pulling her messy ponytail through the hole in the back of the cap. She sighed before turning back to face Octavia, “Don’t wait up for me” she smiled “I’ll text you when I am on my way back.” Without even waiting for her roommate's response she walked out the door of their dorm and out of the building itself.

Clarke walked down the streets, hands in her pocket looking for the nearest smoke shop or liquor store. Preferably both. She walked for 20 minutes before finding what she was looking for. Liquor store and smoke shop  _ combined.  _ Clarke doesn’t do this often, but today, she needed something to distract her. She walked into the store and looked around.

She grabbed a few pre-rolled joints off of one of the shelves and a fancy galaxy hand lighter that she happened to catch a glimpse of. She then made her way over to the alcohol section. Whiskey, beer, vodka, or tequila tonight? She reaches her hand out and grabs a bottle of Grey Goose. Vodka it is.

She makes her way to the cash register. Clarke places her items on the counter and pulls out her wallet. The cashier starts swiping the items and begins to ring her up. “97.86 is your total,” he explains. His tone was annoyed and tired. Clarke took pity on the worker.

Clarke pulled out a $100 dollar bill and handed it to the man. “Keep the change..” she squints to look at his nametag. “Uhh, Jasper?” The man looks down at the nametag and scoffs. 

“Actually, names Monty. Jasper must've forgotten to switch the tags, again.” He replies, this time in a playfully annoyed tone. As if he didn't actually mind. Clarke immediately apologized, grabbed her bag of “goodies”, said thank you, and walked out of the store.

She made her way to a nearby abandoned park. She sat down on one of the swings and placed the bag at her feet. Clarke reached into the bag and pulled out one of the joints as well as the lighter. She admired the lighter for a few moments before lighting up the joint. She swung herself back and forth in the swing as she took a few hits. Coughing every now and then, but eventually feeling her soberness slip away from her. She threw the lighter back into the bag and pulled out the bottle of vodka instead.

Clarke twisted the cap off the bottle and took a big sip of the Grey Goose. She felt the alcohol burn the back of her throat but the sensation helped rid herself of the rage inside her. She took a few more hits on the joint and then took another gulp of the vodka.

Now if she was any sort of sober a few minutes ago, that was all gone. She placed the Grey Goose bottle back into the bag gently before pulling her phone out of the pocket of her sweater. She unlocked it and went to her contacts, clicking on Lexa’s name.  _ “Shall I text or call her?”  _ she asked herself.

Any rational person would say neither, especially when Clarke was in the state she was in. However Clarke wasn’t rational, she made decisions on a whim. Even when she was sober, she was known for her rashness. And this happened to be one of those times. She clicked the call button and sat, waiting as the phone rang.

When she was ready to give up on waiting she heard a click, and then a voice came through the phone.  _ “Hello?” _ it spoke.

Clarke felt her heart begin to race but immediately shut it down to say, “You’re the one, that drummer from the club!” she shouted as loud as she could. Practically anyone within earshot or even further would have been able to hear her.

_ “E-excuse me?” _ the voice on the phone replied but in a tone that was almost faltering. Clarke must've caught her off guard but she didn't care right now.

Clarke hiccupped a bit trying to hold back from crying again. “It’s your fault! Your fault I was unable to study. Your fault I was too busy wondering who the hell you were! Your fault I got a zero on the exam! I didn't even  _ mean  _ to cheat! I just glanced at your paper to get the answers!” Any sane person knew that ‘glancing’ at someone's paper during an exam was considered cheating, but again Clarke wasn’t sober. She kept shouting, her words slurred. The voice on the phone let out an audible groan.

_ “Clarke Griffin?” _ it asked,  _ “You’re the one who did this? You're the reason I got a 70% on the exam even though I answered every question correctly?” _ Lexa finished, Clarke could hear even through the phone that Lexa’s jaw was clenched. It was like she was trying to hold back from blowing up at Clarke in response to this newfound information.

Clarke gave up on holding back her tears, she started sobbing again. Gasping for air between every cry she let out. She slid out of the swing and onto the playground’s grass. Crying even harder, she heard Lexa sigh and she mumbled, _ “You’re not sober, are you, Griffin?”  _ Lexa had not signed up for this when she gave Clarke her number. She expected a text asking for homework help or something, not a drunk, high and crying Clarke sitting in the middle of who knows where screaming at her.

Lexa waited a few moments to get a reply from Clarke and when all she got were sobs she sighed again.  _ “Text me your location.” _ This time Lexa didn't wait for a reply and instead hung up right away. Clarke continued her sobbing, feeling sorry for herself, but then she heard the phone beep as Lexa hung up. 

Clarke pulled her phone away from her face, unable to see much through her own tears, she clicked Lexa’s name again and sent her the address of the park. Thanks to the app map on her phone it made it easier to figure out where she was. Once she was sure the text had sent she laid back onto the grass. Still crying and wiping her own tears, but now waiting for whatever Lexa was sending her way.

Clarke closed her eyes slowly and tried to steady her breathing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, this is my first work by myself! I am trying really hard on this. The next chapter will be out on Wednesday (this was a little treat in honor of the 6 year anniversary of Clexa). Please remember to leave kudo's and comments if you enjoy it. I still can't believe the prologue got 500+ views thank you all so much!


	3. Talking to the Moon...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I went through a lot of songs while trying to write this chapter. Every chapter has a title of either a song or lyrics to a song. I'm honestly not sure how I feel about this but I needed to introduce the band. There are a few people we haven't met yet but most of them are side characters. A little spoiler: Anya is in this and Luna too :) Other than that we met the main characters. Also yes there is more angst here I think there's a slight TW for “s/h”.  
> All mistakes are mine.

Clarke awoke an hour or so later on a couch in the middle of a fully furnished living room. Her eyes took a few minutes to re-adjust to the light but she quickly closed them when a pounding headache started to form. She reached up to cup her head with one of her hands, hoping that would help ease the pain. 

Clarke heard shuffling around her but focusing on the noises just made her headache worse. There was some incoherent whispering around her as she tried to make out what they were saying.

“Shh..I think she’s waking up” she heard a deep voice growl, deep but feminine. Clarke was almost positive it was a girl speaking, however, it wasn't a voice she recognized. She heard the footsteps coming toward her and she shifted a little with her eyes still closed.

The voice started to speak again, “Well you're a nuisance already aren't you?” it asked. Despite her headache, Clarke let her eyes fly open. She nearly hissed in pain as the pounding came back. She then turned her head to face the voice.

On the coffee table there sat a tall dark woman with a scowl plastered all over her face. She wasn't skinny but she wasn't big either. She was full of muscle. Unlike any girl, Clarke had seen before. She thought Raven was muscular, but this woman brought Raven to shame.

Clarke felt fear overtaking her as she shot up into a sitting position. This headache was no longer her biggest worry, now her worry consisted of figuring out where in the hell she was. The woman sitting next to her grumbled something under her breath.

As Clarke glanced frantically around the room she didn't see any familiar faces. Or any other faces at all. Where did the other people go? She was sure she heard more than one person talking. Or maybe, she was still drunk and this was a dream she was having.  _ Yes, that had to be the answer. _

Clarke started to pinch her own hand,  _ hard _ , she winced at the pain it was causing her but continued to do it. When that didn't wake her up she tried pinching her arm instead. She caught a glimpse of the woman sitting next to her, the woman’s face still glared at her but instead, her eyes showed a bit of panic. When Clarke didn't stop attempting to hurt herself the woman reached toward her and grabbed her wrist.

“Are you on drugs? What the hell are you doing to yourself?!” She shouted toward Clarke and that made her stop dead in her tracks. The woman let her grip of Clarke’s wrist go and Clarke curled her knees up into her chest, hugging them close to herself.

Clarke rested her head on her knees and closed her eyes trying to calm her headache again before trying to speak. “Where is this? Where am I?” she asked, her speech was still slurred.

The woman sighed and stood up. “This is quite the introduction I guess. We don’t let just anyone here but the owner of the house told us to.” She fixed her pants and the shirt she was wearing before popping the collar of her jacket. This woman was wearing white ripped skinny jeans, the contrast of her skin tone and the jeans worked together perfectly. Her T-shirt was a dark blue shade with a design on the front, Clarke couldn't understand the language the words were written in. And her jacket was a leather-like material with a pocket over her chest on the right side.

The woman sighed once again before waving her hand to the side as if to call people out. Two men started to walk toward them and crowded around Clarke. One of the guys was noticeably older than the other two, Clarke assumed he was a senior in college, maybe even older than that. While the other guy was definitely a high school student. 

The woman gestured toward the two men, “This is Aden” she said while pointing to the younger boy. His hair was blonde and his outfit matched the woman’s but with fewer rips in the pants. Then she turned her attention to the older man, “This is Titus, but you can call him T,” she spoke again. 

_ “Titus?” _ Clarke thought.  _ “Weird name if you ask me.”  _ But she didn't say anything. She may have been drunk and even a little high but she knew how to be a decent person. Instead, she nodded to both of them as a hello.

“And my name is Indra. Don’t call me anything but that, got it?” her expression went back to the scowl that Clarke saw the first time she locked eyes with the woman. Too scared to answer she simply nodded her head again. The three of them looked at Clarke as if they were awaiting something from her. 

“Oh, I'm Clarke. Clarke Griffin.” She picked her head up from where it was resting on her knees. She reached a handout, hoping one of them would shake it. No one did so she retracted it. She relaxed her legs and laid them out straight.  _ “Not very good with social cues I guess.”  _ she thought.

The four of them stayed in their position. Each of them looking at each other, locking eyes once every so often. It was an awkward moment all of them shared. Aden finally cleared his throat and spoke, “Titus, maybe we should leave them here. Ya know, give Indra and Clarke some  _ girl time _ .” He teased.

Titus nodded but Indra scoffed. She shot a look at both of them. An almost threatening glare but the boys were gone before she could say anything. “Unbelievable” she groaned. 

Clarke brought a hand up and rubbed at the back of her neck, “Sorry to bother you Indra, but do you have water here?”

Indra hissed out her response “Yes, but not for-” her reply was cut short when she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Clarke turned her head to attempt to make out the figure that was coming closer to them. The figure cleared its throat and Indra gulped.

“She’s drunk Indra, cut her some slack. Go get her water.” the voice bellowed.

“Whatever you say, Lexa” Indra responded before walking away. _ “Lexa? No way...I didn't actually yell at her, did I?”  _ Clarke asked herself before dropping her head and covering it with her hands.  _ “Shit, why am I here?” _

Lexa sat down on a chair across the couch that Clarke was laying on. She sighed and shook her head. “You know, I didn't peg you as the drunk type.” She thought to herself for a minute, “But then again, I didn't peg you as the type to cheat on an exam. Yet, here we are.”

Clarke felt her rage start to swell up inside her. Why was she so angry? It wasn’t even Lexa’s fault it was her own for being so distracted. Although she wouldn't have been distracted if it weren't for Lexa. So Lexa’s fault it was.

“You don’t know me.” Clarke snapped, regretting it immediately but still putting up a stone-cold expression toward the girl.

Lexa rolled her eyes and sighed. She gave Clarke a slow blink as if to calm herself. She cleared her throat once again. “Alright Clarke,” she kept her voice soft, “Drink some water and I'll call you a ride home.” Indra came back with a glass of water with some ice in it and handed it to Clarke. Clarke gave her a soft thank you and Indra saw herself out of the living room. 

Clarke took a few sips of the water as she felt her headache slowly started to subside. She tried to keep her eyes from staring at Lexa. Lexa sat across from her in silence, Clarke felt a lump appear in her throat, and just when she was about to speak the front door swung open and a girl came running in.

Lexa turned her attention to the door and so did Clarke. The girl shut the door behind her and ran straight to Lexa, arms open wide.

“Lex!” She screeched. Lexa cringed a little at the sudden noise, Clarke did the same and her headache flared again. Lexa opened her arms wide to embrace the girl and the girl sat in Lexa’s lap. She gave Lexa a bright smile before kissing her on the cheek, which made Lexa flush bright red.

The girl then turned to lock eyes with Clarke. Another person who she didn't know,  _ great.  _ The girl started to glare at Clarke and Clarke averted her eyes. Lexa turned her head to watch the interaction and she spoke, “Calm down Costia. She wasn't sober, we're calling her a ride home right now.” She cooed. 

Costia’s head turned to face Lexa and gave her a small smile before kissing her, this time on the lips. After a few moments, Lexa pushed her away and whispered something in Costia’s ear. Costia huffed and got up off of Lexa’s lap. She gave Clarke another glare and then walked out of the room.

Lexa dropped her head so it rested in her hands. Clarke noticed this and turned her attention back to her classmate. Her tone was soft when she asked, “Are you alright Lexa?”

Lexa shot her head up immediately and shook it, “No, yeah I am okay,” she sighed before finishing her sentence, “Here’s a $20.” She said while pulling out her wallet and giving the bill to Clarke. Lexa cleared her throat before standing up. She pointed at the front door, “Your shoes are over there and your phone is in your hat resting on your shoes.”

Clarke sighed and nodded before standing up. She stumbled a bit trying to get to her feet, Lexa walked over to her to stabilize her. Clarke turned to her and waved her off. Lexa listened and took a step back. Clarke made her way to the front door, she grabbed her shoes and began to put them on. Then, she took her phone out of her hat and put it on, stuffing her phone into her pocket.

She turned her attention back to Lexa for a moment. A look of worry shed over Lexa’s face, she didn't know what that meant but she gave her a quick smile and the look of worry started to disappear. Lexa gave Clarke a smile back and waved to her.

“Thank you,” Clarke said before opening the front door, “And, I’m sorry.” She said as she walked out. The door closing behind her. Before the door closed she was able to hear Lexa start to say something back.

“Wait Cl-” Lexa’s remark was cut short when Clarke finished closing the door and made her way to the curb. She pulled out her phone, texted Octavia that she was on her way home, and ordered herself an Uber.

Clarke [2:23 am]: Getting an Uber now, see ya soon. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there ya have it, Clexa’s first one on one meeting in my AU. I try to add little drops of actual scenes here and there hence the “You’re the one” lines in chapter 1 and Clarke meeting Lexa in her own house for this scene, kinda like the tent scene in The 100. The references are subtle but they're there. I hope y'all enjoyed this update! Lmk in the comments, see ya next Wednesday!


	4. I Will Wait...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's Wednesday, which means a new chapter! All mistakes are mine. TW in this one for panic attack/allusions to abuse. There's no abuse in this chapter but it alludes to the fact that there may have been some in the past. The fan art was made as a commission by a friend of mine, it's to give you an idea of how Lexa looks as the drummer in this :) If you're reading on the phone, hold down on the image to see the whole thing!

“It wasn’t Lexa’s fault,  _ I _ cheated on the test she didn't even know I did it,” Clarke explained. She had come in early today to make sure Lexa’s grade was fixed. She had already caused Lexa enough trouble in the few weeks that she had known her, she had to fix what she could.

Clarke’s professor nodded and sighed, “Alright Clarke. Because you came forward I will fix Lexa’s grade and give you another shot. I know this isn’t like you, for that reason you will have a paper due instead of the final.” He started to say. “You have 48 hours, it is due to my email on Friday at 11:59 pm.”

Clarke smiled and felt her worry melt away for a few moments. She let out an audible sigh and thanked her professor for this second chance. Clarke heard the bell rang and she made her way to her desk. She kept her eyes fixed on the door as Lexa walked in and the professor called her over. She watched as the two of them conversed for a while, noticing a smile start to form on Lexa’s face.

She walked away still smiling, sat down at her desk, and turned to face Clarke, “Thank you” she mouthed as she grabbed her textbook out of her backpack. Clarke smiled to herself grabbing her own textbook, opening it to the 3rd chapter, listening intensely to the Professor's lesson. As the class ended Clarke put her materials away and walked out of the classroom.

Lexa caught up to Clarke this time, she tapped Clarke’s shoulder and Clarke whipped around to face her. She gave Lexa a soft smile as she began to walk alongside her.

“Thanks for that,” Lexa spoke, “It meant a lot that you did that for me.”  
Clarke felt her smile fade remembering the girl who seemed to be Lexa’s girlfriend from last night. She stopped in her tracks, “Oh that was nothing, I mainly did it to get another try on the final.”She deadpanned.

Lexa’s face dropped as Clarke spoke but she nodded in response. Clarke wanted to keep her “feelings” for Lexa hidden, as much as she could. They walked along awkwardly down the hall until Clarke heard loud footsteps coming up behind them. Clarke held her breath and bit her tongue hoping it wasn’t Bellamy again.

“Clarke!” The voice shouted, almost out of breath. Clarke let out a sigh of relief at the sound of the voice.

Raven ran up and wrapped her arms around Clarke’s waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Lexa moved out of the way for the two girls to have their moment. Raven and Clarke hugged for a short while until Lexa cleared her throat.

Raven cringed at the thought of making someone else uncomfortable and pushed Clarke away before clearing her throat as well. Raven shot a look to Clarke and Clarke fixed her posture. “Oh! How rude of me..” She mumbled, “Raven, this is Lexa, Lexa this is Raven.”  
Raven grinned and held out her hand, Lexa shook Raven’s hand before stuffing it back into her pocket. The three of them stood there staring at each other before Raven struck up a conversation.

“So, Lexa, you're in Clarke’s class?” Lexa nodded and Raven kept talking. “You look familiar, where have I seen you before?”  
Clarke cut in “She performed at the club last week, she was the drummer.”

Lexa smiled and nodded, she wasn’t someone who seemed to be shy but she was not a big talker. Raven noticed the interaction between the two and smirked a bit to herself.

“When are you performing next? I’m trying to get Clarke to go out more.” Raven asked, Clarke, groaned in reply. Lexa thought to herself for a few minutes before smiling. A soft one, Clarke could feel the butterflies start to form in her stomach at the sight of Lexa’s smile.

“We perform every night now. We get at least a 10 song setlist each night.” She let out a soft laugh and Raven smiled again.

Clarke looked back and forth between the two of them and shook her head. “I can’t go out tonight-”  
Raven shut her up, “No one said anything about _tonight_ Clarke. How about Friday? Does that work for you, Lexa?” Raven wasn’t even asking Clarke anymore instead she was more interested in Lexa’s response.

“I guess that works?” Lexa questioned.

“Great! Friday it is then! See you on Friday Lexa!” Raven then grabbed Clarke’s wrist, pulled her away from Lexa, and out of the building. Clarke grumbled but allowed herself to be dragged by Raven. 

Raven dragged Clarke until they made it to the corner of the street to cross to their dorm building. “You better snatch her up before I do.” Raven jokes.

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at the tanned girl's remark, “Tone down your gay-ness for a few seconds.” She teased, “Besides I’m pretty sure she has a girlfriend already.” Clarke felt her heart start to hurt. She didn't think she liked Lexa, hell she barely knew the girl. Yet she felt herself starting to feel  _ something _ for her.

Raven scratched at the back of her neck, and in a nervous attempt to say something she whispered, “Gee, I'm Sorry Clarke, I didn't know...”

Clarke turned to lock eyes with Raven and shook her head. She tried her best to make Raven feel better but also to not change the mood of their interaction. The two of them were having a good talk and she didn't want to ruin that with her own messed up emotions. They made their way to Clarke and Octavia’s dorm, Raven walked Clarke to the door. They gave each other another quick hug and Clarke walked in, closing the door behind her.

*** * ***

Clarke had finished her paper earlier than the tie she was given, due to Raven making plans to go out without her agreement. She wasn’t super proud of the essay but it was what it was. She opened her computer, added the pdf file as an attachment, and sent the email to her professor. 

She sighed in relief, closing her computer, sitting back in her chair. Raven sat up from her laid down position on Clarke’s bed and gave her a wide eye grin. Clarke watched as Raven glanced at the clock sitting on her nightstand.

“Is it time to go yet?” She whined. Clarke laughed at her friend's lack of patience. She stretched in her chair and then pushed it back to get up. Raven perked up even more and got up from the bed. She dashed toward the door and put her shoes on quickly. 

Clarke followed slowly behind her, tying her hair up with the hairband on her wrist. She slid her sneakers on and stood up, opening the door. Raven was standing directly behind Clarke the whole time as she followed her to the uber.

The ride there was silent but when they arrived Raven was her usual energetic self again. She grabbed Clarke’s wrist and pulled her inside. “Let’s go see your girl!” She teased. Clarke felt her face flush red until she remembered the girl from Lexa’s house.  _ “Costia”,  _ she thought. That name was already starting to leave a sour taste in Clarke’s mouth. 

She shook her head to rid them of the thoughts of Lexa and gave Raven a small smile. Raven ordered the two of them each a shot. Clarke wasn't getting wasted like she was the last time she saw Lexa. Instead, she was going to drink casually alongside her best friend. 

Clarke watched as a girl began to approach Raven, the girl offered to pay for Raven and Clarke’s drinks. Clarke declined the offer but Raven accepted it. The girl gave Raven a soft smile. She was dressed in blue and green, she looked as though she had just come off the set of Pirates of the Caribbean. Her hair was curly and ratty but her smile would make anyone blush.

Clarke pondered how Raven was able to have this effect on people. It was almost like she could make any girl (or guy for that matter) in the world swoon for her. Raven and the girl started to chat it up and Clarke saw her way out from between them. She walked to the middle of the dance floor in front of the stage. 

She listened as the current band played a few songs. Clarke danced with herself and enjoyed just being in the moment. That was until her moment was ruined by a harsh tap on her shoulders. “Mind if I cut in?” Finn asked.

Clarke was startled by the voice, she jumped and took a few steps back to leave space in between the two of them. She felt her soul leave her body as she locked eyes with the boy in front of her. Her mood had dropped just by the sound of his voice.

Clarke bit her lower lip trying to ignore his presence but Finn wasn't taking the hint, and Clarke could tell he definitely wasn't leaving anytime soon. Her eyes shot around the room, looking for Raven to help her out of this situation. She ran a hand through her hair in a frantic panic.

Finn took that opportunity to grab Clarke’s wrist which caused her to flinch. “Let’s talk about this, you've been avoiding me.” He spoke. Clarke could hear the anger in his voice and she felt her whole body tense. Just as she was ready to shut down, she heard footsteps coming up from behind her, _ “Raven, thank god...”  _ she thought. 

The figure swatted Finn’s hand away from Clarke’s wrist causing him to wince in pain and drop his grip on her. He shot the person in front of him a deep piercing glare.

“You don’t scare me” Lexa spoke. Clarke’s attention was grabbed at the sound of her voice. She looked over to see that it was in fact Lexa standing next to her. Lexa had the dark makeup around her eyes ready to go on stage

Her hair was braided on the sides to keep it out of her face. She spoke again. “Now keep your hands off her. She obviously isn’t interested.”

Finn scoffed, “She doesn’t know what she’s interested in.” He mumbled. Lexa seemed to take offense to that statement even though it wasn’t directed to her. She glared back at Finn and wrapped her hands around Clarke’s shoulders. 

She turned Clarke around and started pushing her away from Finn. The two of them made their way to the “backstage” area. It wasn’t very backstage, it was just a cloth that hid the performing bands from the view of the bar patrons.

The woman who Clarke had met at Lexa’s house stomped over to them. “Lexa! We were supposed to go on 5 minutes ago!” Indra’s gaze looked down to meet eyes with Clarke’s and she sighed. 

Lexa dropped her grip from around Clarke’s shoulders and then turned to face her. “Stay back here while we play okay?” She whispered. “He can’t come back here unless one of us lets him, you’ll be safe until he leaves.”  
Clarke wanted to refuse her offer but something in her told her to accept the help. Not because she wanted to make a move or because she thought anything of this interaction, but because Finn was persistent. Clarke knew he wouldn’t give up on talking to her, so she gave Lexa a small nod.

Lexa smiled at her and turned to the rest of her bandmates. The four of them made their way onto the stage and disappeared from Clarke’s view. Clarke let out a deep breath that she didn't realize she had been holding in.

She felt her body sink slowly to the ground as she pulled her knees close to her chest. She hugged them tightly and felt the tears begin to form in her eyes. She wiped her cheeks when she felt a few tears start to fall.

Just then Clarke heard the curtain start to move and it flung open, Clarke felt her body tense again, ready to be screamed at by Finn for disappearing. 

She felt her worries melt away when she heard the voice, “Clarke!” Raven shouted as she ran toward the blonde, pulling her into a tight hug. Clarke felt the tears flow from her eyes, this time she didn’t attempt to stop them. She let her composure crumble in the arms of her best friend. 

No words needed to be spoken between the two of them for Raven to know exactly what happened. “I'm so sorry Clarke, I got caught up with Lu-” She cut her own sentence short, comforting her friend instead of apologizing. “It’s okay, Clarke. Let’s go home okay? You can come to my place.”

Clarke nodded through her sobs and Raven stood up, reaching an arm out for Clarke to grab. Clarke grabbed Raven’s hand and she helped her get to her feet. Raven reached her hand toward Clarke’s face to wipe the tears from her cheeks. Clarke gave Raven a pained smile and all Raven could do was frown.

She took Clarke’s hand in hers and led her through the back door of the bar. The girl from earlier was standing outside, waiting for Raven it seemed. She tilted her head to look at Clarke and Clarke turned away quickly.

“Luna, sorry to cut things short tonight, I need a ride home..” Raven spoke in a soft tone. One Clarke had only heard her use toward their group of friends.

“C’mon. I warmed the car up for you two already.” Luna spoke nonchalantly. Raven kept her hand in Clarke’s as she led her toward Luna’s car. She opened the back door for Clarke who climbed in first, Raven following closely behind.

Luna opened the driver's door and climbed in after she had seen the other two girls made it in safely. She shifted the gears of the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

Clarke felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and read the message that popped up on her home screen.

Lexa [10:43pm]: Hey, you disappeared. You’re okay, right? That jerk didn't find you right?

Clarke [10:45pm]: No, I’m okay. Raven ended up coming to get me, I’m on my way home. Thank you..

Lexa [10:50pm]: Thank me? For what?

Clarke [10:52pm]: Stopping him, before he could get worse. But also for that night, at the park. I'm a pretty big pain in the ass and I haven't been the nicest to you...how can I repay you?

Lexa [10:55]: You’re not a pain in the ass...but about that “re-payment” how about you take me out for coffee tomorrow? If you’re up to it?

Clarke felt her heart flutter at that message.  _ “Maybe Costia wasn’t Lexa’s girlfriend?”  _ she thought to herself. She felt a smile creep up onto her face as she typed out her reply.

Clarke [11:00]: Meet me at the coffee shop on the corner of Arkadia Ave tomorrow at 1 pm and you got yourself a deal :)

Lexa [11:01]: I will be looking forward to it. See you then, Griffin.

Clarke sighed as she felt her body relax in the back seat. Her eyelids started to get heavy. When she began to fall asleep she felt Raven push her head down so it rested perfectly in her lap. Raven stroked Clarke’s head as if to let her know she was okay where she was. She felt safe here and she allowed herself to finally drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeahhhh we got Luna now. She's a main character because ya know i need more sea mechanic stuff in my life. So why not make it? Oh yeah, welcome Finn to the list too. He’s not really a good person in this story and don't worry he isn't a main character. He’s a recurring character but not main. He’s talked about more than he actually appears. How did yall feel about this chapter? Remember to leave comments and kudos! Oh yeah! Happy holidays everyone!


	5. Would You Lie With Me And Just Forget The World?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am going to do my best to keep up this week, tough times are going on in my family right now. This fanfiction is something I look forward to writing every week. It keeps me happy, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. We finally get some fluff and happy Clexa moments. All mistakes are mine, I didn't proofread this more than once hopefully it’s still good lol.

Raven had helped Clarke get ready. She assisted her in pulling her hair back into a ponytail. The air was brisk that afternoon, the seasons were changing. Clarke threw on a dark green sweater, and some navy blue jeans to pair it with. She grabbed her sneakers from the front door, slipped them on, and walked out of Raven’s front door.

Clarke quickly walked down the street, checking her phone every so often to make sure she wouldn't be late. She tried not to let her mind wander and kept her hopes down. She wasn’t trying to expect anything from this meeting. But no matter how hard she tried, every time she thought of Lexa a smile plastered Clarke’s face.

Upon arrival at the coffee shop, Clarke realized she forgot to ask Lexa for her drink order. She was planning on ordering  _ before _ Lexa arrived to avoid them waiting awkwardly for the drinks to be done. Pulling her phone out she opened her messages with Lexa.

Clarke [1:02pm]: Hey, what drink do you want?

Clarke clicked the button on the side of her phone to close it. As she was putting it back into her pocket she felt a vibration. She pulled her phone back up to her face and read the message.

Lexa [1:03pm]: Turn around.

Clarke bit her lower lip and felt her stomach twist as she began to turn her head. She locked eyes with Lexa who had already made herself comfortable at the small table in front of the cafe’s window.  _ “Mental note; be EXTRA early when meeting this girl.”  _ Clarke thought to herself.

She gave Lexa a soft smile and a little wave before making her way over to the table. Clarke pulled the chair away from the table to sit down comfortably. Lexa kept her eyes locked on Clarke who decided to clear her throat to break the silence.

“Are you always late to dates?” Lexa deadpanned.

“It was only 2 minutes! I can’t control the stoplights-” Clarke froze mid-sentence. Her brain had finally registered what Lexa had called this interaction.  _ A date.  _ “Did you call this a date?” Clarke questioned.

Lexa turned her head from its position of looking out the window to lock eyes once more with the blonde. Lexa raised an eyebrow, “Did I? Slip of the tongue I guess.” She shrugged but shot Clarke a quick smile.

Clarke sighed and rolled her eyes, standing up from the table. “Drink order?” She deadpanned, trying to keep herself from blushing.

“Tall vanilla frappe, two shots of caramel with whip cream and caramel drizzle on top.” Lexa gave Clarke a smirk as Clarke stood there, blinking in awe of the complexity of her classmate’s order. She turned on her heel and walked to the counter, ordering their drinks. 

After a few moments, Clarke walked back with their drinks in hand. She placed Lexa’s in front of her before sitting back in her chair. Clarke watched as the brunette took a sip of her frappuccino. Lexa had her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, she was wearing a camo bomber jacket with a black plain shirt underneath. Her jeans were also black with a slight rip above the knee.

Clarke lifted her own drink to her lips and took a small sip. She was able to catch a glimpse of Lexa who was once again, staring at her. Clarke looked up to lock eyes with Lexa one more. She had never noticed how green Lexa’s eyes were, the color was almost captivating.

Lexa smirked at Clarke once more, “You gonna quit being a creep and talk to me?” She joked. Clarke bit her lower lip and immediately felt embarrassed, looking down at the ground instead. “Hey, I was joking..” Lexa sighed.

Clarke picked her head up and gave a small chuckle, “Oh, oh yeah I totally knew that.” The blonde cleared her throat before speaking again. “What are you studying to be? I never got to ask you.”  
Lexa leaned back into her chair and took another sip of her drink. “Oh, actually I’m not majoring in anything right now.”  
Clarke raised an eyebrow in question, “Then why are you taking anatomy?” 

“A science class was required to get enough credits to graduate. Surprisingly enough anatomy was the easiest class out of the bunch.” Lexa went back to taking sips of her frappe before continuing the conversation. “What about you? Why are you in this class?”

Clarke moved a few flyaways of hair out of her face. “I'm studying to be a pediatrician..” She mumbled as if she was ashamed of her career choice.

Clarke watched as Lexa’s face lit up with what seemed to be pure joy. “You wanna be a children’s doctor?” Clarke nodded in response and saw Lexa’s smile grow even bigger. Clarke felt her own corners of her mouth turn up too.

The two of them chatted together for what seemed like hours when it was only 45 minutes of conversation. Lexa got up to throw their drinks away, Clarke got up from the table to open the Cafe door. Lexa gave her a smile as they walked out together. 

Clarke walked Lexa around the block to where her car was parked. They walked in silence and upon arrival at the car, Lexa pulled Clarke into a hug. Clarke felt her nerves melt at the embrace of her classmate. She hugged back and Lexa pulled away a few moments later.

She wiped her hands on her pants and zipped her jacket up. “Thank you for the drink, can we do this again someday?”  
Clarke nodded, “Whenever you want, I’m almost always free.”

Just as Lexa opened her driver's door Clarke felt her phone ring in her pocket. She pulled the cellphone out of her pocket, putting a finger up to Lexa as she answered the call.

Octavia’s voice came through the phone in a hurried panic, “Clarke, where are you?” She shouted. Clarke cringed at the volume of her roommate's tone, but she could hear the quiver in her voice.

“I’m at the Cafe, what’s wrong?” She asked.

“It’s Raven,” She spoke, her sobs becoming more audible now. Clarke felt like her heart had dropped to her stomach. “There's been an accident, she’s really hurt Clarke- she..” Clarke’s breathing began to pick up. A look of worry crossed Lexa’s face as she put a hand on Clarke’s shoulder trying to calm her.

Clarke ended the call with Octavia and wiped the tears that were beginning to form in her eyes. “I need a ride to the hospital, please...”

Lexa blinked slowly before gesturing for Clarke to get in the car. Clarke walked around to the passenger side and hopped into the car, buckling up. Her mind raced with all the possibilities as Lexa began driving both of them to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update for the week, hope you enjoyed it. Remember to leave comments as those are really what keep me going. Happy New Year everyone!


	6. I Will Follow You Into the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo more Clexa fluff in this chapter. Sorry for the cliffhanger in the last chapter lol. All mistakes are mine, this was proofread by me before posting. School started up again for me and I am NOT loving it lol. This fanfiction is my only escape istg.

Clarke dashed through the halls of the hospital, swerving through the nurses and patients that got in her way. Lexa tried her best to keep up, she bit her tongue contemplating on whether or not to complain at how fast Clarke was moving. She decided against it, only because of how worried Clarke was. But if Lexa knew she would be doing physical activity she would  _ not _ have worn her skinny jeans.

After a few minutes of panic running Clarke was stopped by a familiar-looking woman. Not familiar in the sense that Lexa knew her, she just  _ looked  _ familiar. The woman wrapped her arms around Clarke’s shoulders, stopping the blonde in her tracks. Lexa finally caught up and leaned an arm against the wall, attempting to slow her rapid breathing.

Clarke locked eyes with the woman in front of her as she began to speak, “Don’t go causing a ruckus, she’s in stable condition. I can take you to them.” She breathed out in her naturally calming tone.

Lexa looked up from her gaze on the floor to watch the two girls' interactions. The two of them resembled each other greatly. Same build, same silky blonde hair, and same piercing blue eyes. By process of elimination Lexa assumed this older woman was Clarke’s mom and suddenly Clarke studying to work in the medical field all made sense.

As the woman started to guide Clarke to what Lexa thought would be Raven’s room, Clarke turned her head to lock eyes with her classmate. “Don’t fall behind now.” She whispered with a slight smirk on her face, her eyes were glossy as if she was still on the verge of tears.

Lexa felt a smile tug at her lips as she jogged to catch up to both of them. They walked in silence for a few moments before arriving at a room. Clarke’s mother gestured to the door and Clarke smiled back at her. She put her hand on the knob pushing it down softly and opened the door slowly.

The door creaked as Clarke walked in, once again gesturing that Lexa follows her in. Lexa stood in place wondering if following Clarke would be crossing a line but in the end, she went with her into the hospital room. After all, Clarke was the one that invited her in. 

Lexa’s eyes scanned the room, taking note of the familiar and unfamiliar faces. “ _ Does Clarke only know girls or something?”  _ she thought to herself. She then turned her attention to the girl laying on the hospital bed. Raven. Now that was a face she recognized. She looked..for lack of better words, awful. 

Clarke let out an audible sigh as she made her way over to was Lexa assumed to be one of Clarke’s friends. She was hugging a tall dark-skinned man, hiding her face in his shoulder. This friend had braids on the side of her hair and she got up from her seat to run and hug Clarke. Lexa watched as the two girls stood there hugging until Clarke pulled away.

She watched as Clarke wiped the tears that were beginning to form in her own eyes. “Sorry, this wasn’t how I was planning to introduce you to my friends,” she started. “Lexa, this is Octavia, her boyfriend Lincoln, and," She paused. "That girl over there is Luna, I think.” 

Lexa turned her head to see a semi-older looking woman sitting beside Raven’s bed. She was holding the girl’s hand, rubbing her thumb over the back of it. Lexa recognized Luna upon first glance and watched as Luna locked eyes with her.

“Small world I guess.” Luna chuckled and it made Lexa smile in response. Clarke shot the girls a look of confusion.

“You two know each other?” Clarke questioned.

“Yeah, we-” Lexa began to say before the door opened and Clarke’s mom came dashing in. She immediately ran to Raven’s bedside and checked a few of her vitals, writing things down on her clipboard. Clarke’s face now had a worried look on her face.

“Mom, what is it?” She asked.

Clarke’s mother’s attention turned to her daughter. “Upon arrival, Raven told us she couldn’t feel her left leg, we ran some tests and…”  
Octavia moved to stand beside Clarke as her mother continued to talk about Raven’s condition. “We think she lost all feeling to her left leg.” Lexa watched as Luna turned her attention to the conversation. She had never seen her friend so worried about anyone before. It was endearing almost but now wasn’t the time to make fun of her for it. 

Lexa bit her lower lip as she watched the tears fall down Clarke’s face. She wanted so badly to go and hug her, but Octavia beat her to it. Lexa decided it was best to herself out of the room and went to stand in the hallway. She leaned her back up against the wall, crossing her arms over her chest. She twiddled with her fingers and slowly blinked. 

The brunette watched as a few more nurses made their way into Raven’s room and wheeled her out a few moments later with Luna still holding tightly onto the girl's hand. Lexa frowned as Luna turned her head to look at her, she gave her a sad smile in response. Lexa gave her a small wave before Luna turned her attention back to Raven. 

About five minutes had passed when Lexa looked up as the room’s door opened once more, Clarke walked out this time. “Lex-” she called before she was cut off by Lexa placing her hand on her shoulder.

“I thought you left..” She sighed. Lexa gave her a small smile before responding.

“I was your ride here, how could I just leave?” Clarke shrugged before letting out a shaky breath and pinching the bridge of her nose. Lexa tilted her head in confusion before taking this opportunity to pull Clarke close to her.

She felt Clarke wrap her arms around Lexa’s waist and lean some of her weight onto her. Lexa stumbled a little before catching her footing, holding tight onto the girl. She felt Clarke’s shoulders begin to shake as she buried her face into Lexa’s collarbone. Audible sobs began escaping Clarke’s lips.

Lexa brought one of her hands up to the back of Clarke’s head. She started out softly patting the back of the blonde’s head before stroking her hair instead. Lexa was never one who was good with emotions, and she was especially bad at comforting people.

But this time she was trying hard just to make sure Clarke knew she was safe in Lexa’s arms. Even if Lexa didn’t understand how she felt about this girl or even what they were. She wanted her to feel like she could let out her emotions when she was around her. She wanted Clarke to be herself.

The hug lasted for a good 2 minutes before Clarke pulled away. Lexa immediately frowned at the loss of contact. She noticed Clarke’s eyes were puffy and her cheeks were flushed red. Without thinking, Lexa reached a hand up to cup one of Clarke’s cheeks. She watched as Clarke leaned into Lexa’s touch. Lexa wiped one of Clarke’s remaining tears from below her eye before pulling her hand away.

Clarke cleared her throat before beginning to speak again, “I should probably get back in there before O gets the wrong idea. Active imagination that once has.” Clarke laughed before turning on her heel to walk back into the room.

Lexa reached for Clarke’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks. She bit her lip as Clarke turned herself to face her. Lexa took a shaky breath in, “Would you like me to wait here?” She took another deep breath before finishing, “With you..?”

Clarke looked caught off guard by the question, but Lexa watched as her shocked expression slowly turned into a bright smile. She gave Lexa a small nod before moving Lexa’s grip from off of her wrist. Lexa hadn’t even noticed she was still holding onto her.

She felt a wave of regret and fear overtake her that was until Clarke took Lexa’s hand in hers. Lexa’s heart immediately began to flutter, it was almost like she could feel the beating in her throat. Clarke began to pull her back into the room, Lexa felt her face flush red this time as a smile began to form. A smile that only  _ this girl _ could ever get out of her..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s the update for this week! Things are finally going somewhere but not too fast. In case you thought I forgot about Costia, I did not. We’ll learn about her and Lexa soon enough. We’ll learn more about Clarke’s past and stuff too. Things are just starting to slowly fall into place. Oh! Just to clear things up, Octavia and Lincoln are currently the only two people in a relationship. Luna and Raven aren’t exclusive at this moment and neither are Clarke and Lexa. As always lmk what you thought of the chapter in the comments, your interactions keep me motivated! Happy Wednesday!


	7. I'm Mr.Loverman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to me screaming “AHHHH!” Sorry lol, that vine has been in my head. Anyways, here we go again. It's another chapter in the hospital with more fluff. This time it’s Clexa AND SeaMech fluff. We learn what happened to Raven in this chapter and how Luna and Lexa know each other. As well as a few new plot points. I know this is slow-moving but I’m trying my best :( Once again, all mistakes are mine. Slight TW for the hospital, drunk driving, and semi-graphic descriptions??

Lexa sat in the chair, shifting uncomfortably as she rubbed her eyes. Waiting for the news on Raven was taking excruciatingly long. Longer than Lexa had expected, but she stayed silent, watching the friends in the hospital room. Octavia fidgeted with her hands while resting her head on Lincoln’s shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her close, stroking her hair. Clarke paced back and forth biting her nails so much that her fingers started to bleed. 

The brunette leaned forward to grab the blonde's wrist. Clarke flinched at this action and Lexa immediately retracted her hand. Standing up, she gestured for Clarke to sit. Clarke shook her head but Lexa wasn’t taking no for an answer. 

She placed her hands on her classmate's shoulders and slowly pushed her so that she was now standing in front of the chair. Lexa then pushed down on Clarke’s shoulders, Clarke gave in and sat on the chair. She let out a sigh as she rested her elbows on her knees, cupping her face in her hands. Lexa let go of the girl’s shoulders and shifted herself so that she was now standing next to her classmate instead.

The group turned their attention to the door as they heard it swing open. Luna walked in, unaccompanied by anyone else. A look of worry plastered over everyone’s face as they saw the dried tear marks along Luna’s cheek.

Clarke, who had only been seated for a few moments, shot up from the chair. She made her way over to Luna, breath picking up, hands shaking. Luna closed the door as Clarke got closer to her. “What’s the situation,” she choked out, as if already on the verge of tears without even knowing the status of her friend. “What happened to her?”

Lexa tilted her head as she heard Octavia walking up behind her. Luna took a deep, steady breath in, as if to calm her own nerves before she got ready to answer. 

“It was an intoxicated driver..” She started. “He T-boned into her car as she was driving. I think they said he died on impact. Raven’s left leg got the worst of it…” Clarke let out an audible sigh as Luna took another deep breath in. “She lost all feeling in it..she also has a slight fracture in her pelvis on the right side. Broke her nose as well..they have her on a lot of painkillers. She’s gonna need a knee brace to help her walk around...along with crutches for the first few weeks.” Lexa watched as the tears began to form in Clarke’s eyes. “She may get the feeling back someday, but we gotta prepare for the worst.” Luna finally finished. Her shoulders dropped and Lexa made her way to Luna’s side this time.

She rubbed Luna’s left shoulder comfortingly and Luna gave her a small smile. “Thanks, kid..” She whispered before nudging Lexa’s side. Lexa caught a glimpse of Octavia who was sobbing in the arms of her boyfriend and Clarke who was ready to break down as well. She walked swiftly to Clarke as the blonde wrapped her arms around Lexa’s waist, pulling her close as she let the sobs escape her lips.   
Lexa rubbed circles on Clarke’s back, trying her best to comfort the girl. While also trying her best not to cross this imaginary line she drew in her mind. Clarke pulled away, sniffling as she tried to steady her breathing. Lexa turned to see Luna standing there awkwardly, squeezing her right arm with her left hand. Lexa gave her old friend a pity smile, Luna did the same in response. 

Clarke finally finished cleaning up her tears before speaking once more. “When is she coming back here?” She questioned.

Luna cleared her throat. “She’ll be done in another 15 minutes. We can visit her two at a time from now on, but your mom said she needs her space.”

  
Clarke nodded and Lexa heard Lincoln and Octavia get up from their seats once more. 

They made their way next to Clarke. Lexa could overhear bits and pieces of their conversation. Octavia didn't want to overwhelm Raven. Clarke was closer to her so she should stay a little while longer. Lincoln was taking O to his place for the night. They will meet at the hospital again tomorrow afternoon. 

As the two were leaving Octavia stopped in front of Lexa, reaching a hand out to her. “Nice to meet you. Maybe under  _ better  _ circumstances, we can talk more.” Lexa took Octavia’s hand in hers. A firm handshake between the both of them while Lexa nodded in response. Then O turned back to her boyfriend, taking one of his hands in hers and disappearing out of the room’s door.

“I’m gonna go get some food from the cafeteria, you two want anything?” Luna questioned.

“A water bottle please,” Clarke responded. Luna’s head turned to meet Lexa’s gaze. Lexa shook her head.

“Two water’s it is,” Luna smirked as she left the room, leaving Lexa and Clarke there in silence. Clarke made her way over to the chairs that O and Lincoln were sitting in early. She patted the chair next to her and Lexa felt the corners of her lips turn up and she made her way to sit next to Clarke.

The two sat in silence for only a few seconds before Clarke asked the question that she seemed to have been dying to ask. “How do you and Luna know each other?”

Caught off guard by the sudden forwardness Lexa practically choked on air, coughing a little as she steadied her breathing. Clarke’s face read worry as Lexa waved her off letting her know she was okay. She cleared her throat getting ready to answer the curious girl’s question.

“When I was a kid, I was in a band. Luna and I met in middle school. I played the drums, she sang. I was in 6th grade, she was in 8th. She and Anya were closer than I was, and then one day, Luna disappeared. I haven't seen her since..”

Clarke was a little lost, “Anya?”

Lexa let out a soft chuckle, “Anya is my older sister. She and Luna were in the same grade. They were inseparable from the moment they met. And then...like I said, one day she just up and left.” Lexa sighed, leaning back into the chair.

“Never knew you had an older sister, but then again I don't know much about you,” Clarke smiled. “I guess that would explain why she called you “kid” then huh?” She finished.

“Yeah, it was her nickname for me I guess. Probably because I was younger than her. But something about the way she said it always made me feel safe. Ya know?” Lexa questioned as she turned her head to lock eyes with Clarke. Beautiful blue eyes staring back at her, Lexa did everything in her power to keep herself from blushing. Clarke gave Lexa a small nod and Lexa smiled as she turned her head, eyes looking at the floor once more. 

The two of them sat in silence for a much longer duration this time, the silence was broken when the door opened once more. The squeaking of rolling wheels could be heard and as the girls picked their heads up, there they saw Raven. Followed by a few nurses Clarke’s Mother made her way into the room. Clarke stood up and ran toward her mother. The two of them conversed, something Lexa couldn’t hear. Raven was sleeping on the hospital bed, she looked so pale, there were so many devices hooked up to her.

And her leg, it looked awful. It was mostly covered in bandages, but blood was seeping through them. Lexa nearly gagged as she turned her head to look the other way.

“Lexa?” Clarke’s mom spoke. “I’m doctor Abigail Griffin. Nice to meet you.” The women spoke from the other side of the room. She then turned and walked out of the room, the nurses following swiftly behind. Luna came back in perfect timing.

She handed Clarke the water bottles before quickly sitting at the chair beside Raven’s bed once more. She placed the bag of food next to her feet as she leaned over to grab Raven’s hand. Raven groaned in response but squeezed Luna’s hand back. 

This caught Clarke’s attention and she was on the other side of Raven’s bed in a heartbeat. Raven’s eyes fluttered open and she waited for them to adjust to the light. She coughed a bit before speaking softly, “I guess the mighty Reyes can’t handle everything..” She joked.

Clarke let out a sigh of relief knowing her friend was still her usual self. She leaned over to place a kiss upon her forehead. Raven’s head turned to face her, Lexa stayed back watching the two, smiling to herself. 

“Nice to see you here, Griffin.” Raven struggled to say. Clarke only shushed her and watched as her head started to turn now to face the other way. “Well hello there gorgeous” Raven slurred out. 

Luna let out a soft laugh as the blush started to rise on her cheeks. “You’re hopped up on tons of pain killers, let's get you something to eat hm?” She asked while reaching down to pick up the bag of food.

Luna was the same as she had always been, something inside Lexa felt relieved, she didn't know why yet, but it did.  _ “Never change Luna,”  _ she thought to herself,  _ “Let yourself feel something for once.” _

After about 10 minutes Clarke made her way over to Lexa, who was still standing there awkwardly. “Let’s go.” She whispered, “Let’s give them some space and let Raven rest.” Lexa smiled and nodded as the two of them left the stuffy hospital room. She took in a breath of fresh air as they made their way out of the building.

As they got into Lexa’s car Clarke asked something, another bold question from the girl that once again, caught Lexa off guard. “I don’t have a car and usually Raven’s my ride..do you think you could spend the night at my dorm tonight? It’s just one night, O won’t be there so you can sleep in her bed, I just don’t wanna bother you by asking for a ride tomorrow and making you waste more gas and-” 

Before the blonde could ramble more, Lexa put her hand up to stop her. “I’ll just let Anya know where I am, sound good?”   


Clarke sighed and nodded with a smile. Lexa felt herself smiling as well, as she began to drive the two of them back to Clarke’s dorm room…   


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done! WOOOOO. How did y’all feel about this chapter? A lot happened but we're getting somewhere now with both relationships. The next chapter will be a flashback, Clarke will have a nightmare yada yada. Just a little teaser to get you hyped up. Remember to leave comments and kudos if you’re enjoying the story! Have a good day :)


	8. Fix You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ; Here we learn about Clarke’s past with Finn, and Raven. TW for slight descriptions of abuse, cheating and all in all panic attacks. This is a semi-rough chapter with some personal experience sprinkled in (I was in a bad relationship with a girl for a long time so this is an outlet). You can skip the heavy parts of the chapter if need be it jumps back to the present at the line “Clarke!” She heard again,” While reading this chapter I suggest you listen to “Fix You” by Coldplay.

“Are you ready to go?” An all too familiar voice spoke. Clarke shot up in bed and made eye contact with the person that the voice was coming from.  _ Finn Collins, Clarke’s short term boyfriend.  _ Clarke cupped her head in her hands as she gave a slight nod in reply. “Good, get your jacket on and meet me in the car.”

Clarke watched as Finn left the house and she made her way to the bathroom quickly. Looking in the mirror she could see her neck was still bruised,  _ “It’s been a week, why are the marks still here?”  _ she thought to herself as she sighed. She opened her makeup bag to begin covering the marks on her neck. 

She checked herself out the makeup job in the mirror before fixing her hair so that it would fall over her shoulders. She gave her reflection a sad smile, wiping a few tears that had begun to form in her eyes, and left the bathroom. 

Clarke walked to the front door, first slipping on her shoes, then grabbing her coat that hung on the door. She slowly put it on, inhaled sharply, and walked out the front door, making her way to Finn’s car.

The two drove in silence, Clarke didn't know exactly  _ where _ they were going, but knowing Finn, it was probably a bar. Upon arrival at the place, Clarke could tell it was exactly that. Clarke kept her complaints to herself, knowing what would happen if she didn't. She opened the passenger door and made her way out of the car.

Finn held Clarke’s hand in his and for a moment she felt safe. They walked hand in hand, side by side, into the bar. Finn found a few empty seats and made his way over, Clarke following behind. 

Clarke sat on one of the barstools, Finn waved for a bartender to come over. The worker began to make her way over. Clarke watched as Finn rested his elbows on the bar, “How about you get me two shots of vodka, beautiful” He whispered. 

Clarke felt her heart drop at the nickname being used on another girl. She swallowed her sorrows quickly as Finn turned his head to her. She gave him a fake smile, of course, he couldn’t tell the difference anyway. The worker came back with their shots and Finn slid one to Clarke. 

Clarke watched as Finn downed the whole thing. She sighed and picked up her own shot glass, downing the entire shot as well. She coughed for a few moments before noticing Finn was laughing at her.

He made his way closer to Clarke, moved the hair out of her face, and gave her a kiss on the forehead. “I’m gonna go meet up with Bellamy and a few other guys I know here.” He spoke softly before his tone began to turn harsh. “Don’t move. Got it?” 

Clarke nodded and leaned up to give Finn a kiss on the cheek in response. She watched as he walked away letting her head rest on the bar. She didn't even remember falling asleep, that was until she felt a tap on her shoulder.

She whipped around quickly, hoping it wasn't her boyfriend. “Woah-” A voice spoke, a feminine voice she hadn’t heard before, “Sorry if I spooked you, you drunk?” She asked.

Clarke had a chance to get a good look at her face. A tall, slim girl stood in front of her. The girl’s hair was pulled back in a ponytail, her skin was darker than Clarke’s but still pretty light. The girl gave Clarke a concerned look.

“Oh no, I’m fine, just tired is all.” She finally answered. The girl sat on the empty stool next to Clarke. She reached a hand out to Clarke. Clarke looked down before reaching out as well and shaking her hand. 

“I’m Raven. Raven Reyes.” The girl spoke once more.

“Clarke, Clarke Griffin.” 

“Rad name! I think we go to the same college. Small world I guess.” Raven laughed a bit to herself which made Clarke smile in response. “Whatcha doing here by yourself?” She inquired.

“Ah, I’m not by myself, waiting on my boyfriend to finish up whatever he’s doing,” Clarke answered, her smile began to drop from her face.

“Coincidence, my boyfriend usually comes here, I’m trying to see if I can find him.” Raven laughed again.

The two of them talked for a while, waiting for their boyfriends to come back, that was until Raven’s attention was caught. Clarke watched as Raven squinted her eyes, trying to make out whatever figure was behind Clarke. Then Raven’s face lit up and she hopped off of the bar stool.

“Finn!” Raven shouted as she ran behind Clarke. “ _ No, it can’t be, he wouldn’t..”  _ The blonde thought to herself as she turned around in her barstool.

Her heart shattered at the sight. There was her boyfriend, kissing Raven. Bellamy and a few other boys stood there, cheering Finn on. Clarke felt herself becoming nauseous. All these memories flood back to her.

The memories of Finn hiding his phone from her, or leaving at 1 am and coming home at 8 am. The memories of him throwing water bottles at her if she asked him a single question or slapping her across the face if she accused him of lying.

Clarke felt dizzy, she stood up from the seat and started to try to make her way out of the bar. Her vision was blurry and she felt herself beginning to stumble. She could hear a faint “Clarke!” as she fell to the floor and passed out.

*** * ***

“Clarke!” She heard again, this time it was a whisper scream, but a voice that she was okay with hearing. Clarke shot up in her bed, breathing rapidly and sweating all over. She tried to steady her breath, turning her head to see Lexa kneeling on the floor next to her bed. 

Lexa’s face was riddled with worry, it was pale, her expression hurt Clarke’s heart to see. “It’s okay, you’re okay..” Lexa whispered. Clarke felt her breathing starting to slow.

She watched as Lexa reached a hand out and placed it on Clarke’s shoulder. Her thumb running in circles over her shoulder. Clarke took a deep breath in, trying her very hardest not to cry.

The brunette kept her hand on Clarke’s shoulder for a few seconds before Clarke couldn’t take it anymore. She turned herself to face Lexa as the tears started to stream down her face. Lexa tilted her head, face still pales with worry.

Clarke pulled Lexa onto the bed before hugging her close. Clarke only let Raven see her this vulnerable but for some reason, she couldn’t help herself around Lexa. Lexa reached a hand and placed it on Clarke’s back, patting softly before rubbing her back slowly. 

The two girls stayed in that position until Clarke was able to calm her sobs. Lexa pulled away, looking into the blonde’s eyes. Her bright blue eyes were glossy, red, and puffy. Her cheeks were stained with tears and her face was pale. 

Clarke’s lower lip was still trembling, Lexa reached a hand to place on the girl’s cheek. Clarke shot her a sad smile and that sent a sharp pain into Lexa’s heart. Lexa gave Clarke a sad smile in response.

Before Lexa could stop herself, she began moving her face closer to Clarke’s. Lexa closed her eyes as she leaned in. Closer and closer until their lips finally met. Lexa was about to pull away, regretting her decision. That was until she felt Clarke kiss back.

Lexa kept her hand on Clarke’s cheek as they kissed. She felt one of Clarke’s hands trail up Lexa’s side, resting it carefully on her waist. The kiss was soft and sweet, but still passionate. The two girls pulled away for a moment resting their foreheads against each other catching their breath, before going in for a kiss again.

Clarke finally pulled back, Lexa’s eyes opened to see the tears finally stopped flowing. Clarke let out a deep, shaky breath before smiling at Lexa. A real smile this time, Lexa felt her heart flutter once more as she smiled back.

Clarke reached her hand up to her own cheek, grabbing Lexa’s hand and holding it tightly. The two of them gazing into each other’s eyes as if nothing else in that moment mattered but them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I saw the opportunity and I had to seize it. How do you feel about that chapter? I think I really like this one. Once again, they are not dating yet. But heyyy we got our first Clexa kiss in my fanfic. Remember to leave comments and kudos, see y’all next week!


	9. When I Look at You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a SeaMechic/Lunaven centered chapter. It’s just a filler chapter. We’ll learn about Luna’s past in this chapter so we know how she is now. We’ll be back to the regularly scheduled chapter on Wednesday. I just wanted to give you all a small gift. TW for death and descriptions of violence in this chapter.

_ *November 2011* _

“Luna, I’m so sorry..they didn't make it..” The voice came through the phone. Luna could tell the Doctor was trying her best not to cry. How does one even tell a 15-year old that their parents have died? Luna stood in place, stunned. She heard the bell ring but she didn't budge. She simply ended the call, placed the phone in her pocket, and stood there, the stunned expression still plastered on her face.

It wasn’t until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she finally snapped out of her trance. She turned her head to see Anya, her best friend, staring back at her. She smiled at Luna, the smile she always gave her.

Luna took a deep breath, wiping the sad expression off her face and giving her friend a small smile. Anya tilted her head in confusion and concern. Luna knew this would be the last day she saw Anya. She was never good at goodbyes so she wouldn't tell her what happened.

Luna won’t talk about her parent’s passing or the fact that she had to move because of this, instead, she will smile through it. And tomorrow? She will leave, without a trace.

Anya grabbed Luna’s hand and began dragging her to the lunchroom. Normally Luna would protest, but for this one day, she wouldn't. The two of them made their way through the hallway. 

Luna waited for a good time to pull out her phone. She seized the moment when Anya went off to the bathroom. She pulled her phone out of her coat pocket, opening her text messages. 

**To Grandma: I will be packed and ready to go tonight. See you soon. I love you.**

She then closed her messages with Anya and Lexa. Moving onto the contacts app, she took a deep breath in as she blocked the girl’s numbers.  _ “I’ll see you both again. Someday, I promise.” _ She thought to herself.

Her sad moment was cut short as she noticed Anya walking back to the lunch table. She slid her phone back into her pocket and gave her friend another warm smile.

  
  


_ *June 2015* _

“Luna! Pay attention! You can’t keep getting distracted…” A voice shouted from behind her. Luna jumped a little but proceeded to turn around and salute the man that the voice was coming from.

“Yes Sir. Sorry Sir..” She replied in a saddened voice. The man sighed as he made his way back to one of the tents set up. Luna let out a sigh of relief. 

She didn't mean to get distracted, she was just worried. There were so many kids closeby to their campsite. She knew they couldn’t move their site, she was just worried if something were to happen, the kids would get caught in the crossfire.

Luna made her way over to one of the benches and she sat down. Her friend Nyko caught a glimpse of her and he made his way over, two sandwiches in hand. 

“Here, kid,” He said with a smile as he handed her one of the sandwiches before sitting down next to her. She gave him a smile in response, taking the food from his hand and beginning to eat it. “Derek’s only hard on you because he wants you to be on your toes at all times, you know that.”

Luna let out a quiet sigh before nodding. She knew he didn't want to be strict, but if he wasn't Luna would get even more distracted. Their moments of peace were soon cut short by a gunshot.

Luna looked up from the table to see one of her comrades on the other side bleeding out of the ground. Her face, frozen in fear, feet unable to move from their place. 

“Get a hold of yourself kid!” Nyko shouted as he grabbed Luna’s hand pulling her underneath the table. 

“Everyone, get to your weapons, they fired first!” Derek shouted in command. Nyko gave Luna a quick nod as they waited for a perfect moment to run. Shots firing all around, they saw an opening and made their way to the armory tent.

Luna grabbed two pistols from the corner, putting one in the holster of the uniform and turning the safety off of the one in her hands. She made her way out of the tent and hid behind a nearby tree.

The shots still being fired around her she peered around the tree and shot whatever she could. She didn't even know if she got a hit but she kept shooting when she could. Derek commanded them to move closer and Luna did just that. 

She was reunited with Derek and Nyko and a few other comrades, the group hiding behind a knocked over a picnic table. Just as they were preparing to shoot one more, the enemy's shots stopped. The group sat in silence before Luna broke it.

“What happened?” Luna whispered. 

“Shh..” Derek breathed out, “It seems they ceased fire..” He began to place his gun on the grass before saying, “Stay hidden, I’m going to look.” The group nodded.

Luna watched as Derek started to walk slowly to the other side of the bench. He stayed crouched down before getting to the end where he stood up. They watched as he turned his head to scope out their surroundings. Just as they were about to follow Derek out, another gunshot was heard.

Luna squeezed her eyes shut at the sudden loud noise, once she opened them again she saw Derek. He was lying on the ground, blood seeping from the bullet wound in his head. Luna couldn’t contain her screams.

“Captain!” She shouted as she began running toward him. One of her comrades grabbed her arms, pulling her back to a seated position on the grass. Tears were streaming down her face, her eyes were so blurry she couldn’t see anything in front of her.

“Luna,” She heard Nyko say behind her. “Run, run now.” Luna turned to face him, the tears still running down her cheeks. He gave her a kiss on the forehead before positioning his gun over the bench and attacking the enemy back.

Luna bit her lower lip as she began running, dropping both her pistols on the ground behind her. She ran as fast as she could, only turning her head back for a moment to see Nyko was hit as well.

She felt her heart drop in her stomach as she kept running. As fast as she could, as far as she could. Never again, never again will she even hold a gun. Never again will she ever love anyone, not even as friends.  _ “Never again..”  _ She thought as her feet carried her through the streets.

_ *June 2019* _

Luna grabbed the girl’s hand, helping her off the boat and making sure she didn't trip getting on. The girl gave Luna a soft smile and Luna couldn’t help but smile in response. Once all the children were off the boat Luna started walking them to the front of the dock.

“C’mere kids, let me help with your jackets.” Some of the older students had already taken theirs off and handed it to Luna. She helped the younger ones unbutton their vests and watched as they dropped them to the floor. She let out a small laugh.

Then she watched as the group of kids made their way onto the bus. All but one, Adrianna. She usually stayed behind for a few extra minutes. Luna began to make her way over to the girl.

Adrianna wrapped her arms around Luna’s waist, Luna hugged her back. The two stood in silence, hugging for a few moments.

Until Luna pulled back, “Get going, I’ll see you next week.” She whispered. Adrianna gave her a small smile as she ran onto the bus. Luna watched as the bus pulled out of the parking lot.

“They really like you huh?” A voice called out behind her.

“They’re orphans Murphy. They just need something to take their minds off everything..” She sighed, turning around to face him. Murphy rolled his eyes.

“Then why don’t they hug me after every fishing trip?” He whined.

Lune couldn’t help but laugh at him. “Maybe if you looked less like a cockroach, they wouldn’t be so scared of you.” She teased as she began to make her way to her car.

“I’ll have you know, Emori enjoys my cockroach-like face!” He shouted in response. Luna laughed again and waved him off. She opened the car door and hopped in, turning on the radio and beginning to drive.

_ *Present Time* _

Luna spent the night at the hospital, beside Raven the whole time. She would bring her food when she was hungry, water when she was thirsty, and even grabbed nurses when she needed them. She hasn’t let herself care about someone this much since Derek and Nyko. It was terrifying but she couldn’t help it.

Raven needed her and Luna wanted to be there for her. Of course, Luna never thought she would be seeing Lexa again. Seeing Lexa again meant she would inevitably have to see Anya again. Luna was not ready to face her yet. Not even 10 years later. She wasn’t ready yet.

Raven noticed Luna lost in her thoughts and she squeezed her hand, “You don’t have to stay here you know?” Raven looked into Luna’s eyes with sadness. Luna only shook her head.

“I’m staying.” She deadpanned, before squeezing Raven’s hand back. Luna then began rubbing her thumb in light circles over the back of the Latina’s hand. She watched as a smile began to form on the girl's face. “And that’s why I stay here,” Luna said sweetly before pulling Raven’s hand to her face, giving it a soft kiss.

She watched as the blush crept up on Raven’s cheeks, feeling her own face starting to form a soft smile in reply. Luna stayed holding onto Raven’s hand for a few more moments, the two girls sitting in silence.

Raven soon broke that silence, that girl really didn't like to stay quiet for long. “I’m usually not a liability, I promise..” She began to say. Lune picked up her own head to make eye contact with the girl on her hospital bed. She watched as Raven’s lower lip began to quiver. “What am I going to do..?” She asked as her voice started to break.

Luna moved her chair closer to the girl. Her eyes filled with concern as she watched Raven break, right in front of her eyes. “What do you mean Reyes?” Luna questioned.

“How am I going to go back to school? Will I be able to walk without a brace? Am I broken now? Is that it? Am I a nuisance now? Why are you still here? I’m only going to drag people down now, how am I supposed to be happy after this? How Luna?” The girl rambled on and on. So many questions, none of which Luna had an answer for. 

Luna opened her mouth to say something but was cut off by Raven speaking once again, “What am I going to do..?” She asked as she turned her head to face the other way. Luna let out an audible sigh, standing up from the chair, dropping Raven’s hand as she did so.

Raven’s sobs got louder, Luna reached her hand up to the girl's cheek. She applied a slight amount of pressure to her cheek, turning the girl's head so that she faced her. Luna tilted her head and gave the girl a small smile.

She brought another hand up to graze over the bandages on Raven’s nose. Raven shot Luna a look of sadness. “I can’t give you the answer to your questions, I have never gone through what you are right now.” She started. “But I do know one thing, you are not broken.” 

Luna sat on an empty part of Raven’s bed, keeping eye contact with her the whole time. “I can’t quite explain it, but when I look at you, I feel all my worries melt away.” She looks down toward Raven’s injured leg. “That was of course until you gave me a reason to worry about you.” She teased.

She watched as a smile formed on the girl’s face. She heard Raven giggle, something that meant she was listening to her. “I want you to feel that way when you look at me. You aren’t broken. And from now on? I’ll keep you safe.”

“That's a pretty big promise.” Raven scoffed. She then let out a long sigh, “And about the way you feel when you look at me? No need to hope, I already do feel like that.”

Luna felt her stomach twist into a knot as Raven sat up more. She felt Raven place a hand on the back of Luna’s head, pulling Luna’s face closer to hers. Their lips meeting, a soft kiss ensuing. 

Luna let her guard down in front of this girl. After a few moments, Raven pulled back, letting her hand drop from its position on Luna’s head. Raven smirked at Luna, making her face go red.

“You’re lucky I waited a week to kiss you.” Raven teased. “I don’t know how you did it, but I have definitely fallen for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit, I did it. I loved writing this. Seamechanic is a huge comfort ship of mine. I hope you guys enjoyed this little filler chapter. Let me know your thoughts!


	10. Right Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place a week after Clarke and Lexa have their kiss. The song I listened to while writing to “Right Now” by One Direction. Thank you guys for over 200 kudos and over 100 subscriptions! I’m so happy people like this fanfic. And if you miss the whole rock band aesthetic Lexa? Not to fear she comes back next chapter, it’ll be worth the wait for her reappearance. The rest of the TriKru band is also a big part of the next chapter! Anyway hope you enjoy this one!

“Still haven’t texted her, huh?” Octavia asked from her seated position at the end of Clarke’s bed. Clarke bit her lower lip and shook her head. “You can’t just sit around  _ waiting _ for her to text you first.” The blonde watched as her roommate flopped backward onto the bed. “C’mon grow a pair and message her!” She teases.

“First of all, that’s offensive.” Clarke teases back before letting out a sigh of disappointment. “Second of all...she asked that I forget the kiss even happened in the first place. I’m just respecting her wishes.”

Octavia groans in frustration before rolling her eyes and sitting up once more. She turned to face Clarke, giving her a pitiful smile. “Just, try? Please?” She asked as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom.

Clarke sat, staring at her phone on the nightstand for a few moments. After hearing the bathroom door close and lock she reached for her phone. Picking it up she slid it open to unlock it, clicking on the messages app.

_ “Lexa” _ she read the contact name to herself. Taking a shaky breath in she began composing her message.

Clarke [12:42 pm]: Hey, I know you said to ignore what happened that night. But I just can’t. It’s all that has been on my mind for the past week. You haven’t even spared me a second glance in class. I don’t want things to be weird between us, but..you’re basically ignoring me...it makes me feel like you’re just messing with me. 

Clarke clicked the blue arrow, sending the message on its way. She flopped backward onto her own bed this time, letting her phone fall to the floor. She heard the bathroom door open, turning her head to see Octavia, her hair now in a ponytail.

“Going somewhere?” Clarke questioned.

“On a run, with Lincoln.” She blushed at her own statement. “You can join if you want?”

Clarke waved her off. “I’ll be fine here. Third-wheeling ain’t really how I want to spend my afternoon anyway.” She watched as Octavia smiled and let out a soft laugh. Before she made her way out of their dorm room.

Clarke knew she most likely wouldn’t see O for a couple of hours, so she was planning to take this time to clean up the room a bit. That was until her phone vibrated. Clarke nearly jumped off her bed, scrambling to pick it up. She smiled seeing the name on her home screen.

Lexa [12:50 pm]: I’m sorry Clarke, I just needed time to sort out my feelings. And...officially end things with that girl you saw at my place. My bandmates weren't too happy about the whole ordeal. All of us are pretty close, including that girl...Costia. In fact, Titus lectured me for an hour straight, screaming at me even. Indra is mad I fell for another girl already. Aden is just there..lol. Anya told me to do what makes me happy. So I am…

Clarke felt confusion wash over her. She began typing a reply until she noticed Lexa was still typing. So instead Clarke was going to let her classmate finish what she wanted to say before she would respond. 

Lexa [12:54 pm]: I want to take you on, a proper date? I have a few things I want to share with you before we decide to further this “more than friends” interaction or not... Are you up to that? You can say no, I would understand.

Clarke [12:56 pm]: I would actually really enjoy that, Lexa. Any particular place you had in mind?

*** * ***

Clarke sat patiently, waiting on the bench, her hands placed on her knees looking around for any sign of Lexa. She obsessively checked her phone to make sure there was no change in the plan. There were no new notifications, Lexa was 10 minutes late now and Clarke was starting to worry.

Just then she heard a few leaves crunch behind her, she quickly whipped her body around to see a startled Lexa. Her hands were raised in an “I surrender” position. She gave Clarke a small smile until her face dropped.

“Shit Clarke...I’m sorry..” She breathed out. Clarke let her shoulders relax and sighed. She closed her eyes, steadying her breathing before opening them and giving Lexa a genuine smile. She gestured for Lexa to sit next to her and the brunette did just that.

Clarke turned her head to face Lexa, smiling once more. “So, about your message? What did it mean?” Clarke questioned.

She watched as Lexa took a shaky breath in, biting her lip before answering the girl sitting next to her. “I like you, Clarke.” She blurted out.

Clarke’s eyes widened at this sudden bold move coming from her. She hasn’t seen this side of Lexa yet, it was always hot and cold with her. But now, now the feelings were laid out right in front of her.

“I know it’s really fast and you probably don’t feel the same, but I just..” She sighed, “I needed to tell you. I don’t want to regret never telling you.”

Clarke let out a small laugh. “I like you too.” She began to reassure her. “At least I think I do?”

“You think?’

Clarke let out another laugh before fixing her hair. “It’s my first time having feelings for a girl. It’s all pretty new to me...So I-” She began to explain. She watched as Lexa’s eyes dropped they made eye contact with the ground. Clarke softened her eyes, reaching out to grab one of Lexa’s hands. 

Lexa lifted her head to match Clarke’s gaze. Still holding her hand she reached her free head to the back of Lexa’s head. Pulling her close, Clarke kissed her with pure fire and passion. When she pulled back from the kiss, she noticed a tear running down Lexa’s cheek. That was before Lexa pulled her closer for another kiss.

After the two pulled back for a final time Clarke gave Lexa a soft smile. “I hope that answers your question.” She teased. Clarke watched as the blush rose onto Lexa’s cheeks. She did her best to hide her embarrassment, all Clarke could do was giggle.

Lexa started to twiddle with her fingers nervously and Clarke wiped the smile off her face. Now concern took over. “Lexa? Are you okay?” She questioned.

Lexa shook her head. Now Clarke was even  _ more _ concerned. She felt her heart drop to her stomach. Noticing the tears starting to form in Lexa’s eyes, she tilted her head toward the girl. She placed a hand on Lexa’s back attempting to make her feel safe.

“I’m not a bad person, right?” Lexa mumbled.

“What?” Clarke asked, stunned now. “Why would you think you were a bad person?”

“I kicked Costia out...I couldn't do it anymore.” Clarke heard Lexa’s voice begin to break and her shoulders start to shake. “She told me..she told me she loved me. But all I could think about was you..so I told her we had to stop seeing each other.”  
Clarke felt her heart clench and she was ready to build a wall around her feelings again. “Were you dating her? When you kissed me?” She scoffed.

Lexa immediately shook her head and Clarke let out a sigh of relief. “We never dated. We were just..” She sighed. “We were just fuck buddies? Friends with benefits I guess. No feelings were supposed to get involved but then she saw you that one night..and she kept confessing her love to me.” She groaned in frustration. “It was like everyone else could tell I had fallen for you before I even knew it!” Lexa exclaimed. 

Clarke let out a breathy laugh, trying to lighten the mood. “For the record,” She nudged Lexa’s shoulder playfully. “Raven said she would take you if I didn’t snatch you up first. So it seems my friends could guess my feelings before I could too.”

Lexa locked eyes with the blonde once again. She gave her a small smile before laughing to herself. “Tell Raven I’m flattered.” She joked. “However...I think my type is blonde girls, with blue eyes who are studying to be a doctor.” She finished, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Well, I hope you find what you’re looking for” Clarke teased. Lexa smiled again. Clarke watched as Lexa leaned in, kissing Clarke’s cheek softly. 

“I don’t want to get ahead of myself here, but I think I already have.” It was Clarke who was blushing this time. Clarke bit her lower lip, trying to contain the blush, to no avail. The two girls sat in silence for a few moments.

Their beautiful silence is interrupted by a loud ringtone. Clarke checks her phone,  _ “Not mine.”  _ She thinks. Then she looks over to Lexa who has picked up her phone. 

Clarke does her best not to eavesdrop on Lexa’s conversation. She watches as Lexa hangs up the call, placing the phone back in her pocket. Lexa lets out a deep sigh, Clarke watches her in confusion.

“Once again, our time is cut short. Anya needs me back at home. You have a ride back to your dorm right?” Lexa questioned.

Clarke nodded her head. “Besides, the park is within walking distance. I could use the exercise.” She smiled and Lexa felt herself smile as well. 

Lexa turned to leave but before you could, Clarke grabbed her wrist. “Wait!” She called. Lexa turned on her heel, facing Clarke with an unreadable expression on her face. “What-what are we?” Clarke blurts out.

Lexa laughs at the shyness of the blue eye girl standing before her. She moves Clarke’s grip from her wrist and places it on her waist. Before pulling her in for a parting kiss. She gives her classmate a weak smile this time.

She then lets go of Clarke, turning on her heel once more, walking away. Leaving Clarke standing in place, stunned and still wondering what the hell that meant. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAND it’s done! How did you guys feel about this one? I’m really excited for the next chapter. I miss writing about drummer Lexa lol. Remember to leave kudos, comments, and whatever else you want to. I really like where this is going so far. I hope you do too.


	11. Misery Business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed drummer Lexa so she appears in this. I’m super excited to write this and I love it so much. Didn't have time to proofread this one, all mistakes are mine. Hope you enjoy this!

Clarke threw on a leather jacket and pulled out her phone. She typed the address into her phone and made her way outside. Waiting for the Uber she breathed in the fresh air.

Raven would usually be the one taking Clark to the bar, but after her injury, she has decided to stay home recently. Clarke promised herself that she would go see Raven tomorrow. She felt calmer knowing that Luna would be with her, although she wished she could do more. 

Her Uber finally arrived, and she climbed into the backseat putting her headphones in waiting to arrive at the bar. The trip felt longer than it usually did, probably because she was used to being surrounded by friends on her way there. But today it was just her and she was going to see Lexa. 

After a few minutes of driving they arrived at the location, Clarke hopped out of the Uber and made her way into the building. Lexa told her to meet her backstage. Clarke didn’t question it but she knew it was probably because she didn’t want another Finn incident. 

She made her way to the “backstage” area and Lexa was standing there, waiting. She had this huge smile on her face. Once Clarke hadn’t seen the brunette ever show her. 

Lexa began walking towards Clarke, closing the gap between them as she pulled her into a hug. Clarke felt her body melt in Lexa’s embrace as she hugged her back. 

After Lexa pulled away Clarke gazed into the girls' eyes, noticing the black face paint around her eyes once more. She felt the blush rising to her cheeks as Lexa gave her a soft smile in response. Then the two heard footsteps coming toward them and an unfamiliar voice. 

“This is her?” the voice asked. Another low voice, but once again it was feminine. Clarke turned her head to see a tall, pale girl standing in front of her. The girl’s hair was pulled back in a ponytail and her jawline was so sharp it could cut someone. 

Lexa nodded her head in response to the girl. “Anya, this is Clarke. Clarke, Anya.” Lexa announced. 

Anya’s stone-cold expression softened as she reached her hand out to shake Clarke’s. Clarke took her hand and gave her a warm smile. 

Indra came in between the three of them speaking, “Cmon, we have to go. It’s our turn.” Lexa grumbled something under her breath before walking over to Clarke. She gave the blonde a kiss on the forehead as she made her way to the stage area. 

“Let’s go, Lexa told me to keep an eye on you. Make sure nothing bad happens while she’s performing.” Anya mumbled as she held Clarke’s hand in hers and brought her to the main floor area. 

The lights were dimmed so low that Clarke could barely see her own hand in front of her face. She could feel the presence of Anya towering over her. 

After a few moments, the lights started to come up. They were blood red and a dark blue. Lexa began to play the drums as the song started. 

_ I'm in the business of misery. Let's take it from the top. She’s got a body like an hourglass that’s ticking like a clock. _

Clarke was captivated by Lexa’s body movements. She couldn’t help but stare. Indra’s voice singing this song was like honey but Lexa was her main focus. 

_ But God, does it feel so good. 'Cause I got her where I want her now. And if you could, then you know you would. 'Cause God it just feels so. It just feels so good _

Clarke’s heart practically leaped out of her chest as Lexa began to sing the chorus alongside Indra. Still playing the drum with such precision and grace her voice didn’t even falter. Clarke couldn’t help but notice the pronoun change in this song. She wished on everything that Lexa was singing this song to her, and god that thought was hot. 

_ I watched her wildest dreams come true. Not one of them involving you.  _

Lexa sang again. Clarke was practically starstruck at this point. As the song came to a close Anya squeezed Clarke’s hand lightly. 

“You good?” She questioned. 

Clarke was just now noticing how hot her face was. She must’ve looked insane staring at Lexa the way she was. “Yes. Yes, I’m okay” she replied, before turning her attention back to the stage to watch the rest of the setlist. Clarke didn’t know how she was going to get through this without practically passing out. 

*** * ***

But she did it. After Trikru was done with their songs, Anya led the two of them to the backstage area once more. Clarke watched as the band put their instruments in their respective cases and the other band was getting ready to go on. However, she couldn’t spot Lexa anywhere. 

That was until Lexa came out from another door, makeup all cleaned up, clothes had been changed, and now. Now she was in a dress.

Clarke bit her lower lip and heard Anya let out a soft laugh. Lexa held her left arm with her right hand, a shy sort of gesture that Clarke had yet to see from her. This classmate was full of all sorts of new surprises. 

Anya made her way over to Lexa, probably teasing her about the whole outfit. Clarke watched as Lexa lightly punched her sister in the shoulder before making her way over to Clarke. 

“This is what I get for letting Anya pack me extra clothes.” She groaned. Clarke couldn’t help but laugh at that. Of course, Lexa didn’t pack this. 

Clarke reached her hand for Lexa’s holding it tightly. “It’s not all that bad. I think it’s kind of cute on you.” Clarke watched as Lexa’s face turned a bright shade of pink. She lightly squeezed Clarke’s hand in response as if she was too flustered to even begin to answer. 

“Do you wanna head home? I can drive you. I know you don’t really like being here.” Lexa asked. Clarke nodded, still holding the brunette's hand in hers. They made their way to Lexa’s car. 

Lexa started the car and the two sat in silence as she started driving. 

“Actually. Can I request we take a quick detour?” Clarke questioned. Lexa listened to Clarke’s directions and the girls arrived at an old-style diner. 

“Don’t you think I’m a little overdressed for this?” Lexa whispered as they made their way in. Clarke simply shook her head. 

The girls were seated at a booth style table, grabbing their menus to order something. They spent the night laughing, talking, flirting, and overall just being college students. It was a date Clarke had wanted since she was little. 

A normal date with no fighting, no cheating, and no distractions. Just the two of them at that moment, just two “kids” in love. 

Upon leaving the restaurant Lexa thanked Clarke for the meal. They got back into the car but before Lexa started to drive she leaned over kissing Clarke. The passion and fire that was in their first kiss and even their second continued to this, their third kiss. 

Clarke felt herself falling more in love with this girl each time she saw her. And she fell even harder every time they kissed. 

“Be my girlfriend.” Lexa blurts out. She doesn’t even have a chance to retract her statement before Clarke responds. 

“Not exactly the most romantic way of asking.” She teases. “But yes, Lexa.” She replies, the two of them kissing once more. 

Lexa pulls out of the parking lot, Clarke holding one of Lexa’s hands in hers as they drive back to Clarke’s dorm room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this chapter was a struggle. I was thinking about Lexa and kept getting distracted lol. I'm good now tho. YAY CLEXA RELATIONSHIP. How did y’all like this?


	12. It Will Rain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an Anya and Lexa backstory centered chapter. They are mentions of death in this chapter and it’s mainly how they got to where they are now. The beginning part sounds similar to Luna’s backstory only because it’s how the plot progresses. Hope you enjoy this chapter! All mistakes are mine. Happy Wednesday!

_ *March 2004* _

_  
_ Anya stood there, holding Lexa’s hand tightly in hers. The girls were dressed in long black dresses that ran past their feet. Lexa was wearing white dress shoes, small enough for her toddler-sized feet. Anya was wearing black boots that went a little past her ankle. 

The girls listened as the room was now playing somber tunes. Music that their parents used to play for them when they were babies. Songs that they used to sing together as a family. The music made it hard for them to mourn, that was until the playlist stopped. 

The two stood in silence as the funeral homeowner closed the two caskets in front of them. That’s when Lexa began to break. She collapsed to her knees Anya falling to the floor with her. She wrapped her arms around her little sister, who was now sobbing uncontrollably. 

“Bring them back! Please! Someone bring them back!” Lexa cried out. Anya did her best to console the toddler but to no avail. She kept on crying for her parents to return, wailing on the floor in front of the caskets.

“Lex, I know you’re upset but the dead are gone...no one can bring them back.” She whispered into her sister's left ear. She held the sobbing Lexa closer until she felt a hand placed onto her shoulder.

Anya turned her head to see an older man standing behind them, the same age as their parents. Gustas, their dad’s best friend since high school. The two of them had no other family and Gustas was first on the list for caregivers if anything happened to the Wood’s parents. He was there to take them to his place, to care for the kids from now on.

Lexa looked up at her sister, tears still streaming down her face. Anya wasn’t crying, Lexa never saw her sister cry. She placed a hand on her sister's cheek, wiping the excess tears. She then pulled Lexa up to a standing position, holding her hand tightly.

The two followed Gustas out of the funeral home and to his car in the parking lot. He opened the back door and the girl’s climbed in.

_ *June 2014* _

Lexa made her way through the front door to find Gustas and Anya standing there, waiting for her. She looked behind them, checking the clock on the wall. She wasn’t late...so why were they standing like that?

“Pack your things, we need to go,” Anya spoke. Lexa gave her a confused expression. Go where? They had lived with Gustas for 10 years now. Lexa was turning 14 soon and Anya had just turned 16. They couldn’t possibly be taken to an orphanage, not after all these years. 

Lexa didn't question it though, she did as she was told, packing up all of her clothes into the two suitcases laid out on her bed. She packed up the school supplies from her desk as well, stuffing them into her backpack. She didn't have time to get changed before she turned her head to see Anya leaning in the doorway.

“Sorry about the sudden change, you know I’ve never been one for letting people down easy.” She teased. Lexa laughed a little under her breath, somehow through her sister’s seriousness she was always able to make her laugh.

Lexa locked eyes with Anya who was now making her way over to her. “So what is happening anyway?” The brunette questioned. 

Anya let out a long sigh before sitting herself on Lexa’s bed. “I got a place.” She started. Lexa tilted her head, once again her face riddled with a confused look. “A place for you and I to live together on our own. I’m 16 now, we can live on our own. I can take custody of you now.”  
Lexa at the foot of her bed in disbelief. Anya? Watching over her? Her older sister, being her sole guardian? Where was all this coming from, and why so suddenly? 

Anya stood up from the bed, grabbing one of Lexa’s suitcases and gesturing for her to do the same. Lexa followed behind her sister, rolling the suitcase and keeping her backpack on. The two girls walked out the front door of Gustas’ condo and made their way into the taxi waiting on the curbside.

No hugs were given, no goodbyes were said. Anya didn't believe in goodbye’s anymore and well, Lexa followed everything her sister did. They sat in the back of the taxi, driving away to Anya’snew place for the girls. 

_ *November 2018* _

Lexa was now 18, Anya was 20 and they were packing once more. Anya had gotten a job at a big corporation, meaning the sisters no longer needed to live in their cramped apartment. She also had the money to finally send Lexa to college. 

The moving truck was there early that morning. Anya just put the downpayment on a condo for the sisters. A big place with tons of room for them to just hang out. Lexa sat on her bed watching as the movers took the furniture out.

Anya came in and sat next to her sister, grasping Lexa’s hand into her own tightly. “Are you ready for this?” She questioned. Lexa nodded her head. 

Ever since their parents' death, Anya had been the “adult” even when Gustas watched over them. Anya learned how to cook at 8 years old, learned to drive at 15, got her license at 16, moved out with Lexa right away, and ever since then it has been the two of them against the world.

Lexa had a few girlfriends here and there, Anya always met them. Anya on the other hand, never dated anyone. She told her sister it was a waste of time but that Lexa was allowed to do whatever she pleased. 

Lexa stood up from her place on her bed and gathered the supplies off her desk. She threw them into the open cardboard box on the floor, closing it with the packaging tape nearby. A man came in and took the box when he was sure Lexa had secured it.

Anya made her way over to her sister once more. This time she placed a hand lightly on the brunette’s shoulder. “It’s okay to be upset.” Lexa turned her head to make eye contact and simply shook her head.

She stood up, brushing Anya’s hand from her shoulder. “Upset? Why would I be upset? We only moved from Arkadia to TonDC only to move BACK to Arcadia after I  _ just  _ started making friends again.” She grumbled. For an adult, her sister was still pretty childish. However, Anya couldn’t blame her. The two needed to grow up much faster than they should have.

Anya sighed, turning to her sister. The older tower over the younger but only by a few inches. “Look, I didn't know the job would cause me to relocate. If it were my choice you know I-” Her sentence was cut short when Lexa interjected.

“You wouldn’t make us go back to Arkadia because you know how painful it is for us. But it’s not your choice.” She growled back. “Yeah, I know, we've had this conversation 100 times in the past week.” Lexa finished.

Deep down Lexa knows that it truly isn’t Anya’s fault. But she can't hold back the fact that she is angry. Just as things were falling into place, they needed to move. Again.

“You’ll be able to go to college you know? Get a degree? And make a living on your own. I can pay for that now..” Anya begins to say, trying her best to console her angered sister. Lexa gives Anya the side-eye before flashing a smirk.

“Then I guess I’ll just have to get accepted into the most expensive university in Arkadia.” She tases. Lexa is pleased as she watches the color drain from her older sister's face.

The brunette runs to the front door, quickly putting her shoes on and making her way out to the car. Anya is screaming as she runs after her. Despite their fights and all their flaws, the Wood’s sisters are still as tight-knit as they were before their parent’s passing.

_ *Present Time* _

“Clarke was her name yeah?” Anya slurred as she brought Lexa another glass of wine, setting it down on the glass coffee table sitting in front of them. Anya sat across from her, taking a sip from her own glass. She watched as Lexa did the same.

“Yeah, she’s in my anatomy class. She’s studying to become a doctor.” Lexa replies. Anya nearly spits out her drink, laughing a little to herself.

“You landed yourself a doctor in training? Nice one!” She compliments, before taking another sip of her alcohol.

Lexa sighs, “I'm not doing this because of her profession you know? I actually like her..” She finishes. A slight tint of red creeps up onto her cheeks as she takes a sip of water instead of wine this time.

“Whatever floats your boat sis.” Anya mumbles while swirling her glass in her hand. The two sit there in silence for a few moments. Drinking their wine and eating their snack, until Anya breaks the silence. “In all honesty though sis, if you really do like her, then just enjoy it.” She says with a smile.

Now, this was something Lexa  _ never _ expected to hear. Stone cold Anya telling her to enjoy herself? Where was all of this coming from? 

“Why say that?” Lexa questioned.

“You know I was never really a fan of Costia or any of your other flings for that matter.” She spoke. “This one is different. She seems gentle, fragile, kind almost." Lexa raised an eyebrow in question as Anya continued. "I’m just saying, she’s not like the rest. And at the club? She couldn’t keep her eyes off of you. It was almost nauseating how captivated she was.”

Lexa felt herself begin to blush once more. Anya laughed at her sister’s sudden embarrassment. Lexa hissed something to Anya that shut her up for a moment until the two sisters burst out into laughter. 

Wiping her tears Lexa speaks once more, “I’m glad you like her.” She says as she begins to stand up, putting her dirty glass and plate into the dishwasher. “Just, promise me you won’t be the overbearing protective sister and scare her away?” She pleads as she makes her way to her bedroom.

“No promises!” Anya calls to her as Lexa shuts the door to her room, rolling her eyes in response to her sister’s cocky response. Lexa pulls out her phone, typing a message to Clarke as she gets into bed.

Lexa [11:23pm]: Goodnight Clarke, see you tomorrow. <3  
She placed her phone upside down on her nightstand but not before making sure her alarms were set for the morning classes. As her eyes grew heavy she heard a familiar ring from her phone. She picked it up, reading the message on the screen.

Clarke [11:48pm]: Goodnight Lexa. Sleep well. <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that! I tried pretty hard on this chapter, working through the pain of hunching over to type lol. Hope you guys enjoyed this one. As always let me know what you think. See you next week!


	13. *NOT A CHAPTER PLEASE READ*

**First of all, I apologize for not having a chapter done this week. I have yet to miss an upload and I wasn't planning to until school got in the way. The next update is as planned for next Wednesday! That being said I have a few things to say.**

  1. I will be working on a Yumagna FF so if you're a fan of TWD you have that to look forward to!
  2. There's a Luna and Lexa one shot in the works that will be up sometime this week!
  3. I am also working on a Clexanya FF so if that's your speed you're in luck!
  4. Finally, I started a social media Clexa au on Twitter. The Twitter handle for that AU is @clexa_socialau



**Let me know how all of that sounds to you guys! Will be back next week for the story update here! I just wanna let you guys know I read and see every comment, even if I don't respond. I love the support it makes me so happy! Thank you all!**

  
_ RIP Heda; Lexa passed away on February 16th, 2150 in The 100 universe. We miss her every day. Her legacy lives on through us. _


	14. Mr.Brightside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back to writing! Sorry for the short hiatus, just needed a little break but I’m back and better than ever. Next Wednesday is actually Lexa’s death anniversary. 5 years without Heda… I miss her every day.

Raven was back in school that week. Abby had talked to her a few days before about getting fitted for a brace. But for now, Raven was on crutches making life on campus that much more difficult for her. 

Clarke designated herself as Raven’s personal helper. She would carry Raven’s lunch, bring her books to class, help her to the bathroom, even text her friends for her when Raven couldn’t grab her phone from her own pocket. 

Clarke left classes early to make sure she made it to help her friend in time. The Latina was waiting outside the door, books on the floor next to her. Clarke bent over, picking them up, and gave her friend a faint smile. 

“You don’t have to do this Griffin.” Raven breathes out. Clarke shoots her a look of confusion as they make their way to the front of the school. 

“What do you mean?” The blonde questioned. Reyes let out a long sigh before stopping in place. She hobbled a bit as she turned to face Clarke. 

“You don't have to help me around. It’s a nuisance to you.” Raven replied. 

“It’s not a nuisance. Besides, I want to do this. For once I’m useful!” Clarke expressed as she began walking again. 

“And I’m useless…” Raven muttered under her breath, just quiet enough for the blonde not to hear her. They arrived at the front doors of the school. 

Clarke began pulling out her own phone from her pocket, holding the books in her free hand. She opened the uber app and clicked on their location until a hand covered her screen. 

The hand slowly pushed Clarke’s phone down, just lightly enough for her to lower her hand. She lifted her head and began to speak “Raven what the hell-”

Before she was cut off by Raven’s voice coming from beside her. “Luna!” Raven exclaimed surprise and excitement filled her voice. That was when Clarke’s eyes finally met the woman in front of her. It was in fact, Luna. 

Luna gave a small nod toward Clarke before turning her attention to the brunette beside her. “I can take you back to my place. You shouldn’t be alone like this.” She spoke. 

Luna’s tone was so calming, something that not even Lexa could achieve. Raven's eyes welled with tears but she bit her lip and gave Luna an eager nod. Clarke was almost offended at how easily Raven gave into Luna’s help, but at the same time, she understood. 

Luna held out her arms, Clarke passed her Raven’s textbooks. Raven then turned to face Clarke again, moving closer and wrapping an arm around her. “Thanks, G.” She whispered into her ear. 

Raven then pulled away, adjusting her crutches so they fit comfortably under her armpits. Luna held the books in one hand and made her way over to Raven, placing a hand on the girl's back. She helped the Latina to her own car. 

Luna turned her head over her shoulder and made eye contact with Clarke once more. “Be safe.” She mouthed out, Clarke simply smiled, placed her phone into her pocket, and began making her way to Octavia and Clarke’s dorm room. 

* * *

Clarke turned the corner, making her way to the door of her dorm. She noticed a taller, older woman standing outside of the room. Clarke made her way closer to her and upon closer inspection, she realized it was Anya. 

“Anya? What are you doing here?” Clarke questioned the blonde in front of her. Anya was standing there, arms cross, gaze stuck on the floor. Her eyes shot up hearing Clarke’s voice. 

“Finally.” Anya groaned. “I feel like I’ve been waiting here forever.” The two stood in silence for a few moments, Clarke unknowing of what to do next. Anya spoke again, “Well, aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Clarke freaked out for a moment before moving to the door, entering her key into the door pad. She opened the door and let out a sigh of relief when she didn’t see Octavia’s shoes at the door. Clarke then motioned for Anya to follow behind her, Anya did so. 

Anya made her way to Clarke’s desk and sat in the chair. Clarke scrambled to clean up the clothes and jackets that were scattered around the floor. Lexa’s sister kept her eyes on Clarke which made Clarke sweat in fear. 

Once she finished tidying up her room she made her way onto her bed, sitting on the edge closest to the desk. She turned her head and met Anya’s eyes once more. 

“What’s the reason for you coming by, and uh, how did you know my room number?” Clarke mumbled her question and Anya gave a light chuckle. 

“Both questions have the same answer, Lexa,” Anya replied before resting her chin on her hand. “I wanted to talk to you, one on one. Without my sister to get in the way.”

Clarke clasped her hands and looked at her knees, “Sorry, I. I’m only into Lexa. I don't feel that way-”

“Woah Griffin.” Anya cut in. “Slow your roll. You’re not my type.”

Clarke immediately felt bad. She didn’t mean to assume, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you, I didn’t peg you for the straight-”

“Wrong again Griff. I’m just not a type to like people romantically in general.” She finished with a slight smirk on her face. 

The blue-eyed college student let out a strained sigh of relief. Well, that's one question answered. But the other still remains.  _ What could Anya want to talk about? _

“Well, since you won’t ask. All I came here to say was the usual. Treat Lexa right. Don’t mess up or you’ll regret it.” She deadpanned. The color in Clarke’s face drained, she was now pale, until Anya laughed once more. “I’m kidding. Don’t be so uptight.”

“Your sarcasm isn’t very easy to distinguish..” Clarke whispers. 

“I’ve been told that before.” Anya rubbed the back of her neck before standing up from the chair. “Lexa is..fragile. I don’t know how much you know about her but she’s been through a lot.”

Anya made her way to the front door placing her hand on the doorknob. “Be careful with her. She’s not quick to open up...” Anya turned the knob and opened the door, stepping out with one foot. “But when she does? Then you’ll know she trusts you.” 

And with that Anya was gone, the door closing loudly behind her. Such a mysterious woman. Clarke had no idea how Lexa and she were even related. Clarke flopped back into her bed, closing her eyes. She wanted to text Lexa but her body felt heavy, and before she knew it she was asleep. 

* * *

Octavia slammed the door open and Clarke shot upright on the bed. She rubbed her eyes hearing their door close behind her. Clarke squeezed her eyes shut trying to adjust them to the sudden light in the dorm. 

“What time is it?” She groaned. Octavia looked over from her crouched position on her side of the room. 

“6:30 pm you sleepy head.” Octavia teased before shoving more things into the duffle bag in front of her. Clarke rubbed her eyes, not entirely registering the time Octavia said. 

That was when something clicked inside her head.  _ Lexa!  _ She thought as she picked up her phone from the ground. 

3 missed calls and 10 missed messages.  _ Damn it...did I mess up already?  _ Clarke thought to herself. She read through all of the messages. 

They were all from Lexa. Each one was along the same lines, asking if she was okay and to let her know when she got the texts. Clarke composed her message back to Lexa. 

Clarke [6:34 pm]: I’m so sorry- I must’ve fallen asleep. I meant to text you but I fell asleep. I’m so sorry. I’m okay. I swear. 

Clarke sent the message and flopped back onto the bed. She heard more rustling from the bathroom and sat up once more. 

“Octavia? What’s going on?” Clarke questioned the roommate who was frantically packing. She looked around the room and noticed all of Octavia’s things had been thrown into the middle of the room. 

Octavia made her way out of the bathroom and threw the bag of toiletries next to the duffle bag. “Lincoln asked me to move in with him.” 

Clarke blinked her eyes a few times rapidly. “Woah. Already?” 

The brunette basically scoffed in response. “It’s been almost 3 and a half months, Clarke.” She replied before going back to packing up her things. 

Biting her lower lip before smiling to herself Clarke stood up and went to help Octavia pack. The two girls put all of O’s clothes into one suitcase, her shoes into another, and her school supplies into two separate duffle bags. 

“I can help you bring them down?” Clarke offered. Octavia gave her a big grin before shoving the two suitcases at her. Clarke rolled her eyes and brought the suitcases out of their dorm and into Lincoln’s car which was parked at the curb. 

Clarke gave Octavia a hug, Octavia reminded her that she still had her passcode and could come over unannounced whenever she needed. Clarke rolled her eyes once more before sending Octavia on her way. 

Making her way back up to the dorm she was surprised to have not gotten a response from Lexa.  _ Maybe she gave up... _

Clarke was approaching her dorm when she noticed yet another person standing outside the door.  _ What now?  _ She thought as she made her way over to the girl who was knocking on her door. 

“Hey what are you-” Her sentence was cut off as she was pulled into a quick hug. Clarke caught a glimpse of the face before it disappeared into her collar bone.  _ Lexa… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All mistakes are mine, yada yada. Sorry about the cliffhanger, needed a reason for you to come back for next week's chapter! Hope you all enjoyed this one. Let me know what you thought!


	15. What I've Done

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well. It’s March 3rd. It’s a pretty upsetting day, to say the least. Lexa lives on through us. As fitting for March 3rd, this chapter will be pretty upsetting. No death but TW for overall bullying and pressuring into things that characters say no to. Hope you enjoy it. All mistakes are mine.

Clarke sat Lexa on Octavia’s bed, she made her way to their mini-fridge, grabbing her a bottle of water. Tears were still streaming down the brunette’s cheeks. Lexa was sniffling trying to steady her breathing and clean up her face with the sleeves of her shirt. Clarke handed Lexa the water and watched as she took a sip. 

The blonde sat on her own bed, opposite Lexa, keeping a close eye on her as she finally started to calm down. Clarke reached over and placed a hand on one of Lexa’s knees. Lexa looked up to lock eyes with Clarke for a moment, a sad smile crept up onto her face. 

“Are you okay enough to tell me what happened now?” Clarke asked again. She didn’t want to push her, but she wanted to be able to comfort her. And to do that, she needed to know what got her so worked up. 

Lexa gave a small nod in response before taking another sip of the water. She took a shaky breath in and placed a hand on top of Clarke’s. Clarke took that as Lexa’s way of asking for Clarke to move closer. The blonde got up from her bed and sat next to Lexa. 

Lexa rested her head on Clarke’s shoulder, still holding her hand tightly. “It was Costia…” Lexa began to say. 

* * *

Costia had been sitting in the living room. Indra stood by the front door, staring as Lexa made her way in. “I tried to stop her. I tried to kick her out. She wasn’t listening.” Indra stumbled over her words, something Lexa had never seen from her before. 

Lexa blinked slowly before sighing. “It’s alright. I’ll talk to her alone.” Indra gave her a small nod and made her way to the guest room. 

Lexa walked over to the couch that Costia was sitting on. Her platinum-dyed hair was pulled back into a tight braid. Her arms were crossed across her chest and her sitting stance was crossed at her ankles. 

The brunette sat in a chair across from Costia and watched as her glare softened. “Hey, Lexa.”

Lexa gave the warmest smile that she possibly could. “What are you doing here Costia? The last time we talked you weren’t very happy…” Lexa questioned. 

Costia stood up from the couch, making her way over to Lexa. Lexa felt her body tense up as the girl sat in Lexa’s lap. 

“Costia, can you please get off me I-” Lexa was cut off when Costia put her lips on the brunettes. Lexa tensed even more than before trying to pull away. 

It seemed Costia was not having that, she placed a hand on the back of Lexa’s head, keeping her close. Lexa felt tears beginning to form in her eyes. 

She finally worked up enough strength to push the girl off of her. Costia fell off Lexa’s lap and landed on the floor in front of the chair. Costia huffed in anger, standing up and wiping off her pants. 

Lexa was trying her hardest not to shake as she stood up. The tears were still forming in her eyes but she hadn't started crying. 

“Get. Out.” Lexa grit her teeth. She wanted so badly to yell, but her emotions of fear and sadness were taking over instead. 

Costia rolled her eyes and Lexa repeated herself. “Get. Out. Costia.” This time she said it louder. The anger in her voice was now noticeable. 

Costia huffed and made her way to the front door. She threw her shoes on and grabbed her jacket from the coat rack. 

Just as Lexa thought she was going to get a moment of peace, Costia turned back. “You know Lexa. I was the first person you met that you didn’t drive away.”

Lexa felt her heart wrench at that statement. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Your personality isn’t very likable. You bottle everything up and push away the people close to you. Hell, your own band barely talks to you.”

Lexa felt the tears start to flow from her eyes, as Costia kept talking. “Hell. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started ghosting you. Or maybe you just bring bad luck. Like you did with your parents.” 

That was enough to set Lexa over the edge. Luckily Anya walked through the front door at that moment. Lexa started sobbing, trying her best to stay standing. 

Anya turned her attention to Costia. “Please tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard.” Costia rolled her eyes in response. 

Anya opened the door, gesturing for Costia to leave and she finally did. “Next time you show your face here, I’ll call the cops,” Anya shouted as she slammed the door behind her. 

She then turned her attention to her crying sister, she ran to Lexa’s side pulling her close. She pets the back of Lexa’s head and tried her best to calm her sister. 

“She won’t come back. Okay?” Anya assured. Lexa gripped her sister’s suit jacket, scrambling for something to hold onto. Anya kept her sister close. 

Indra made her way out into the living room, Aden followed closely behind her. Anya looked up from her position on the ground. 

“I thought I told you not to let anyone in.” Anya groaned. Lexa heard the two of them apologize over and over while Anya stood up, lecturing them about how people are dangerous in a house like this. 

Lexa calmed her breathing and pulled out her phone texting Clarke over and over. She called her a few times as well. When there was no answer Lexa couldn’t help but panic once more. 

She stood up and ran to the front door. Lexa put her shoes on and stuffed her phone into her pant pocket. 

“Lex? What’s wrong?” Anya called to her. 

“She’s not answering me. Maybe Costia was right. Maybe I drive everyone away or...maybe I'm bad luck.” Lexa’s voice began to break on the last words. 

“Wai-” Before Anya could finish her statement Lexa was out the door and running to the car to drive to Clarke’s dorm. 

* * *

“And now you’re all up to speed…” Lexa finished. Clarke’s eyes widened at the girl in front of her. Lexa turned her head to face the other way, and then Clarke pulled her into a hug once more. 

“I’m so sorry Lexa…” Clarke whispered into her ear. Lexa began to break down once more. This time she broke in Clarke’s arm. Clarke keeps her close and rubs her back in circles. 

Lexa shook her head. “I’m sorry Clarke. I didn’t want her to kiss me. And then I thought something happened to you and I panicked and I-”

Lexa’s sobs were cut off by Clarke cupping Lexa’s cheeks. “Stop apologizing for that. It’s not your fault. Okay?” Clarke reassured. Lexa nodded and Clarke kissed her cheek. 

That earned a small smile from the brunette as her tears stopped flowing. Clarke gave her a small smile in response. 

Clarke hugged Lexa once more before standing up from the bed. She reached out for Lexa’s hand and Lexa took it, standing up as Clarke had done. 

“Can I tell you something?” Clarke asked, still holding Lexa’s hand in hers. Lexa nodded. “I’m not going anywhere.” Clarke began to say, squeezing the brunette's hand in hers. 

“It was sweet that you worried about me. Next time, I’ll let you know before I fall asleep. Okay?” Clarke asked. 

Lexa gave another smile before kissing Clarke on the cheek in response. Clarke felt her cheeks turning pink as she looked at the clock. 8:54 pm. 

“Do you wanna spend the night?” Clarke mumbled. 

Lexa shook her head. “What about Octavia?”

“Funny story, she moved in with Lincoln.” Clarke blurted out, trying her best not to laugh. Lexa laughed softly alongside her. 

“I guess 1 night couldn’t hurt.” Lexa smiled. Clarke smiled as well. 

“Great. I’ll make us some ramen for dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be a halfway chapter about Anya and the chapter after that will be more Clexa. I wanted to go more into Anya and her character and since it seems others wanted that as well. Expect a chapter about her on Sunday. The regular update will be on Wednesday. Hope you liked this one!


	16. We All Float On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the Anya Woods chapter!! Here we will learn about Anya’s day-to-day work life. What she does outside of being Lexa’s protector and also some information about her sexuality! Honestly I loved Anya in the show and she deserved to be around so much longer. Hope you guys like this chapter! The normal clexa/main story chapter will be back either Wednesday or Thursday :)

Anya made her way into the office, sitting down at her desk. The papers on her desk stacked up to about three inches. She sighed as she picked up the first one, reading it in her head. Anya then picked up her pen, signed the bottom, and placed it onto another pile. 

She did this a few more times before getting a call on her work phone. Picking it up, she cleared her throat. “Yes?”

A raspy voice came through the phone, “Echo is here for her meeting with you. Shall I send her up?”

Anya let out a relieved sigh and smiled to herself before responding. “Yes, Roan. Send her up, I’ll be ready.”

She then hung up the phone and opened the bottom drawer of her desk. She pulled out a stuffed white rabbit and a bag of chips. Getting up from her position she made her way over to her mini-fridge. The blonde took a juice pouch from the door of the fridge and set it on the table, along with the chips and plush, in the middle of her office. She then made her way over to her door, opening it awaiting Echo’s presence.

Echo made her way into the room and Anya reached out her hand. She gave the girl a warm and inviting smile before gesturing to the couch. Echo made her way over, grabbing the bunny from the table immediately. Anya sat across from the girl and pulled out her notebook.

“How is 6th grade treating you?” Anya started, writing the date and time on Echo’s page. The child before her let out a long and shaky sigh.

“It’s okay I guess...people are talking to me,” Echo mumbled, pulling the bunny closer to her.

“That’s wonderful to hear!” Anya replied, making sure to take note of Echo’s body language she prepared herself for the next part of the session. “Anything else you want to talk about?”

The girl started to cry into the plush, “I...I miss her…” She sobbed quietly. It was as if she were still trying to hide it all from Anya. Anya had been working with Echo for a few months now. 

Echo lost her mother 4 months ago and the girl had been coming to her every week since then. Anya had chosen her career the day her own parents died. Seeing the pain Lexa was in, a small child that was so hard to console, Anya wanted to help people. From that day forth she studied to be a child therapist.

Anya specializes in loss. Whether it be the loss of a parent, sibling, grandparent, pets, even friends. She works with children to get them through the pain. She also specializes in helping children get through divorces. However, she finds herself getting attached to the clients, so much so that they remind her of her own sister. 

Anya snaps out of her inner thoughts, attempting to console the crying 12-year-old in front of her. “I know you do sweetheart, how about we talk about happy memories with her okay? Can you do that for me?”  
The blonde watched as Echo nodded, wiping some tears from her cheeks. 

Anya tilted her head and smiled once more, “Good. How about we start with, your favorite trip with her?”

Echo smiled a little to herself before reaching over the table and grabbing the juice pouch. She put the straw in it, took a sip, and then began talking. “She took me to the beach when I was 10. It was after my dad left her. She wanted to show me we could still have fun.”

Anya watched as the girl smiled even brighter, still holding the bunny close to her. “We went on rides at the boardwalk and she got me ice cream! We also played with some claw machines and won some toys. She called me her whole world…”

“Keep going.” Anya nudged, writing things down as Echo continued speaking.

* * *

Echo stood up, nodding and Anya stood up after her. She guided the girl to the door, opening it for her. Echo’s aunt made her way over and Anya watched as the girl ran directly to her.

Anya went back to her desk, sitting down. She finished signing a few more papers that needed to be sent out today before getting yet another call from Roan.

“Niylah wants to speak with you.” He spoke.

“Send her up.” Anya groaned, putting the rest of the unsigned papers into a folder and moving it off of her desk. A knock came from her office door, “Come in.” Anya announced, still putting away her papers.

She heard the door open and the clinking of high heels entering the door, she also heard the door close before she sat upright in her chair.

Niylah made her way over to Anya’s desk standing in front of it. They both kept a serious expression on their faces before Niylah couldn't take it anymore. Niylah broke out in a fit of laughter and Anya felt a smiling forming on her face.

“One of these days, I swear I’ll win.” Niylah declared. Anya couldn’t help but smile brighter.

“You wish.” She teased as she stood up from her desk, walking around the side, and gave Niylah a hug. 

The two girls hugged for a few moments before pulling away. Niylah made her way over to Anya’s mini-fridge. She helped herself to some bottled water and handed one to Anya as well.

“Seeing as you still dress the same, I’m going to assume you still forget to drink water.” Niylah teased and Anya felt a slight blush rising to her face.

“I’m better than I used to be.” The blonde shot back as she opened the water, taking a sip.

“So by that logic, you drank water today?” Niylah questioned as she made her way to sit on top of her friend’s desk. Anya looked at the floor, biting her lower lip before taking another sip of the water. “That’s what I thought.” Niylah finished.

Anya rolled her eyes as she leaned up against the fridge. “Are you going to be in town for a while?” She questioned.

Niylah took a sip of her own water and sighed as she shrugged. “No idea. Could be a few days, months, or even a few hours. You know me.”

Anya laughed to herself and Niylah kept talking. “However,” She hopped off the desk and made her way over to Anya. “I could stay longer if you let me take you on a date.”  
Aya felt her face turning red again and she walked back to her desk, keeping her face as serious as possible. “You know I don’t go on dates.” The woman sneered as she sat in her chair once more. She heard an audible sigh come from Niylah’s mouth.

“You’ve been telling me that for 5 years now An…” Niylah sighed again as she stood herself in front of Anya’s desk. “I know you’re asexual Anya. I’ve known that. I just want to take you on a date. I don’t want anything else from you. Just one date, please? And if you hate it you can tell me you told me so and I’ll leave you be.” Niylah pleaded, her elbows resting on Anya’s desk.

“One date?” She questioned. Niylah nodded. “And if I hate it, you’ll never bug me about dates or dating again?” Anya questioned once more.

“I cross my heart.” Niylah smiled as you made a cross-motion over her chest. Anya sighed, cupping her head in her hands.

“Fine. One date.” She groaned out in response.

Niylah’s face lit up with pure joy. “Great! I’ll pick you up tonight at 9!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That’s all for Anya’s chapter for now. All mistakes are mine! Let me know what you think in the comments!!


End file.
